Fathers...

The following is an excerpt from Man Enough: Fathers, Sons, and the Search for Masculinity (Putnam). I 'found' it in Psychology Today, circa 1993. My son was 4 and my daughter but one. At that time I'd made the decision to be a major part of my their lives. Saying it and doing it, well, it's not as simple as that. As they age (and grow... hopefully), it is a parent's 'job' to grow with them. And I wanted it as much as they did.

This article played a role in that decision.

Perhaps it can hold some meaning for you as well.

It was written by Frank Smith Pittman, III,M.D., An American psychiatrist and author.

Fathers & Sons

We know that raising children is the central experience of life, the greatest source of self-awareness, the true fountain of pride and joy, the most eternal bond with a partner. We know that being a father is life's fullest expression of masculinity. So why did so many men forgo this for so long, and will the current crop of post-patriarchal fathers fare any better?

FOR A COUPLE OF hundred years now, each generation of fathers has passed on less and less to his sons--not just less power but less wisdom. And less love. We finally reached a point where many fathers were largely irrelevant in the lives of their sons. The baby was thrown out with the bathwater, and the pater dismissed with the patriarchy. Everyone seemed to be floundering around not knowing what to do with men or with their problematic and disoriented masculinity.

In addition, over the same 200 years, each generation of fathers has had less authority than the last. The concept of fatherhood changed drastically after the Industrial Revolution. Economics suddenly dictated that somebody had to go out from the home to work. Men were usually chosen, since they couldn't produce milk. Maybe they would come home at night or just on weekends.

Please read the entire article at... (links to original article)