and in the end...

As 2013 draws to a close, I can't help think of the year gone by. It was quite an adventure. After four total days of travel from Nova Scotia and 5300km I found myself in Fort McMurray, Alberta.

And after 20 consecutive days in the -30s I think it time to leave for Ontario... home.

When you factor in the cost of living and the weather (OMG), in the end, for me... it is simply not worth it.

It is simply a young mans town.

And so this Thursday... 53hrs from now, I am off.

Will I return? I dunno... We'll see what the New Year brings.

With that, I wish everyone a Happy 2014.

All the best to you and yours!

Greg Read More...

So then...

What's that... 3-1 for me?

:l

Go Leafs Go!

Read More...

A reminder...

Just thought I'd offer up a reminder. Read More...

In camp.

No, not like this.

An oil sands 'camp' may be defined as (OPM) - In the last few years, some of Canada's biggest energy companies have spent tens of millions of dollars to build camps that are, by any reasonable definition, no longer camps. They are, instead, lodges - the best of which now fall somewhere between Club Med and a down-town condo - save, of course, for the industrial surroundings and petroleum-scented air.

What this means in part, is free room and board.

I have to say that so far, I am impressed.

I've my own 3pc washroom, desk and comfy chair, TV (meh) and teh 'net!
It's a queen size bed and deux pillows!!!
Laundry (free) facilities are 3 doors down from my room.
Had an awesome dinner (pasta, salad and SKIM MILK!!!)
Even got to make a lunch for tomorrow!

My walkabout allowed me to find the gym (open 24/7), cardio room and yoga studio.

Work is at 0700, and I'm up at 0415.
This allows me to get back in to my a.m. routine.

Am excited and looking forward to getting at it.
What can I say?

All in all, not too bad a setup. ;l Read More...

A full week early

It's been said that good things come to those who wait.
Well, this Sunday I begin my camp job.
A FULL week early!

I...am so pumped!

/me bows humbly ;l Read More...

Ya, thanks ya Twit

Twitter has updated their API so it no longer displays as a widget on one's blog/website.
You are required to actually visit the feed on Twitter in order to access the tweets.
...

And this makes sense how?

For further reference simply google --- twitter widget stops working --- anything similar, or click for this Google search.

Good luck.

Read More...

oooo... dats scareeee!

Was reminded of the count the other day and thought he'd look better with bacon.
I was right.

Just had to. :l

SCTV's Count Floyd

Read More...

About damn time...

After nearly two years, hours upon hours of troubleshooting... I finally managed to get my pics off my old phone to my computer, then online.

Here is the link to the album entitled Journey of Me.

It's a series of pics of my hitch-hike from Toronto, On to Pubnico Head, NS in the summer of 2011.

More pics to come...

Enjoy.

Read More...

And on that day...

Ali and I, April 2013

On my way West... I happened to run in to a princess.

Ya ya, you may be a woman now, but you'll always be a princess to me.

Dad xx Read More...

24 and there's so much more...

Brad and I in the pot yard

24 years ago today my world changed.

You see, as an adoptee I had never known anyone who was of my blood.
Until you were born.
My Son.

And neither of us have looked back.

I'd originally written a post wherein I lay out fatherly advice in the hopes you would understand where you are at.
Of course, who am I to tell you where you're at.
You know this already.

Instead, I will simply say that You are loved.
No matter what you say, no matter what you do... how you feel.
Deny it all you want, there is nothing you can do to change that.
You are My Son and You are loved.

There's a day that neither of us could ever forget.
You said to me that I was the nicest person you knew.
It brought tears to my eyes that day.
The thought of that day still does Son.

As for me... I'm still that person.
Perhaps more so.

On this, the anniversary of the day of your birth... I just want to wish you well in all that you do.
You may think otherwise, but, I do have faith that you will 'figure it all out.'

Perhaps you already have.
You just have to accept it.
As I have accepted you.

Oh you've given your best to deny it.
Thrown it in my face.
In the end, you cannot fool yourself.
You know exactly where you're at and what needs doing.
Of that I have no doubt.

I know I disappoint you.
You're not the first, believe me.
I am who I am and your approval is not needed.
I make my own path, just as you do.
No matter what anyone says/does.
For that... I am proud of you.
The absolute willingness to be who you are despite all odds.

Nothing can change who we are except ourselves.

Why would you want to?

One day you will understand and accept yourself.
And when you do... you will come (again) to accept Me as Your Father.

I've told you, I won't always give you what you want... but I WILL always give you what you need.
Even if you hate me for it.

Remember though... it is in the journey that we learn, that we grow... that we accept.

I wonder if you know how profound an affect you've had on my life Brad.
Not just because you are my Son, but because of who you are as a person.

I am heading out west in three days time.
I don't know when next we will meet.
But we will see each other again.
Know this.

And I cannot wait for that day My Son.

When the time comes... when you have accepted who you are, when you have accepted the journey that you are on, I will be there. As I always have. Every time you close your eyes... every time you look in the mirror... every smile, every tear... I am there with you. Always.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Birthday My Son.
Enjoy your day.

Until we meet again...


Read More...

No jet plane here...

As I am readying for Tuesday I can't help but think back upon my time here in Pubnico.
Hitch-hiking halfway across Canada to see my first born.
Recalling the day I arrived...
Those first three weeks made it clear to me though, that I needed to stay.
And now I need to go.
In the morning, 21 months later to the day, I leave for Halifax.
Quite different than the last time I'd left.

Fresh off Cornwallis in the spring of 85.
And now... 28yrs later, considering heading out 'West.'
Again.
I leave here thinking of those who's lives have impacted mine.
Those I was able to say my goodbyes to... and those I could not.
I thank each and every one of you for being you.
I also can't help but think of the NICKNAME.
Though I understand the reason for them... each and every one of you have 'earned' yours... in one way or another.
The first night Brad took me to Richard Owls.
And from that night on... I began to 'earn' my nickname.
Johnny started it off with Dirty Hippy (tks buddy.)
From that... it became just Hippy.
Though it's not 'just' Hippy anymore... is it.
You've come to realize it isn't about The Hair.
I know now that in your eyes, I have earned my nickname.
I thank you for such an honour.
/me flashes a peace sign
:l
As I type this I have to say my time here has been life altering.
And really, that was the point to begin with.
...
The other day a friend said to me "you can take the man out of Pubnico but you can't take Pubnico out of the man."
I understand that now.
At some point I will 'drop by' again.
Perhaps I'll even have a Dirty Hippy... now being served at a Yarmouth Tea house.
If you think of me... remember, not all who wander are lost.
And though I leave here with an uncertainty on where and when I am 'going'... I know is that it is the journey itself that is the story.
And that it is I, who is the writer...

Read More...

I am who I am, your approval is not needed.

Got it?

Read More...

On getting old...

John Lennon

There is no denying when your age begins with a 5... you are old.

And so, acutely aware there are more days behind me than ahead, I post here some ramblings and mutterings on the eve of my turning 50.

- there is family and then there is everyone else
- my son and my daughter are THE most important people in my world
- ...if only they could accept that
- gone almost three years now, I miss My Mom
- having morals and ethics does not mean others do as well
- the world is not fair
- staying true to oneself can be exhausting at times
- religion is a delusion
- people are strange, interesting but strange
- most are liars
- women say they want a man but in reality they can only deal with boys
- self deception is a killer
- I will always love a good cup of tea and a cigarette in the morning
- sleep rules
- as does bacon :l
- many confuse volume with toughness
- most are cowards
- ABBA's Dancing Queen is still a good song
- your body really is affected by age
- women are beautiful creatures
- it's a shame most women aren't comfortable with that
- confronting something without being confrontational is possible
- you can have all the money you want, all the toys... but if you're not happy, nothing matters
- hand held devices were supposed to bring us closer together, instead they have simply widened the gap
- I have loved two women in my life... that is twice more than most
- neither of them can deal with that :l
- if you have one true friend consider yourself fortunate
- they can argue all they want, but in the end... women are just as horny as men
- and are just as devious for a piece of tail
- music and the written word make the world go 'round
- some people really don't deserve to live
- there are beautiful random moments in time every single day... you just have to notice them
- bringing laughter to a child's eyes is priceless
- your woman can be a thing of beauty, but if she's not a good person...
- when a man truly loves a woman, it is forever
- other women aren't happy with that
- people define themselves through their misery and suffering
- we should celebrate our similarities instead of pointing out our differences... in the end, we are all worm food
- a woman in knee-high boots will always get my blood pumping
- our world will not improve until we rid it of money and religion
- every man should have at least one hot-towel shave with a straight razor
- it is ok to say no
- preventing a hangover is simple
- curing one is easy. Eat bacon :l
- there's nothing like rough sex in the morning, bad breath and all :l
- the only person capable of understanding oneself is... you.
- it does not matter what others say/feel about you
- it still hurts though
- a harsh truth is preferable to a comfortable lie
- homophobes are uncomfortable with their own sexuality
- Chardonnay over Red
- Wisers over Crown
- Wendys over McDonalds
- Mr Sub over Subway
- Timothys over Timmys
- Swiss Chalet sucks
- Long Live Heavy Metal
- my favourite musicians are my son and daughter
- pot will become legal as soon as gov'ts figure out how to effectively tax it
- there is one thing worse than being hurt... and that is hurting another
- I'm sorry are two of the hardest words for most
- the more intelligent you are the less happy you are
- some of the finest people I know are considered rednecks
- the Leafs... what can I say?
- ignorance is not bliss
- there is evil in this world
- hockey rules
- people are afraid of getting what they want and will do almost anything to destroy their dreams
- sleeping under the stars is awesome
- The 'Head has the best pot around :l
- I will more than likely spend the remainder of my days alone
- the above sucks
- as does smoking
- shoulda gone to the dentist more often
- most people are good people... even if they forget sometimes
- I've known some beautiful women in my day... where has it gotten me?
- once you realize you need nothing, you will have everything
- I miss You more
- the more I'm aware of the less I know
- ...

Read More...

Ticking away...

My disappointment in how Bridgewater turned out has led me to confront that which has been on my mind of late...
That I accept it is simply time to move on.
I've learned all I can here...
Take that next step, so to speak.
Originally I'd decided to stay because of the peace that Pubnico offered.
See, what drives those from here are the very things that draw us 'city folk' to an area such as this.
Solitude...
What I found though, was something quite different.
In a place where 'everyone knows your name', you can't help but know them too.
It's clear to me that as much as I've left an imprint upon you, that you... have left an imprint on me.
What can I say... I'm gonna miss you guys.
:l
I am reminded of what Phil is fond of saying...
"The hippies frighten easily, but they'll be back in greater numbers."
And so it shall be.
One day...

Read More...

and so it is...

And when it's time for leavin',
I hope you'll understand,
That I was born a ramblin' man... Read More...

A hippy catches a ride with Owen & Gerry

This is a story of confidence.

A tale of a man who'd been alone so long and whether or not he could remain true to himself when confronted with that which his heart desires.

See, I'd always been one to get 'caught up' in something/someone new. Get lost in them...

So it was with a sense of anticipation that I ventured out in to the 'real world' on my first solo flight since my arrival here in The 'Head in July of 2011. Since I'd been given back something that was taken from me oh so long ago. Since I'd left Toronto and let go of what I needed to. I'd already been tested by the one who first took what was (and is) rightfully mine. I was true to myself then, and knew 'everything' would eventually be ok.

My heart was pounding.

My excitement level was high.

So much so that I awoke at 0333hrs and realized that was all the sleep I was going to get. A cuppa tea, d00b and my last smoke and I wasn't moving anywhere for the next few hours. Lying there, alone... stretched out on the couch, I saw all my hopes and dreams right before me.

There for the taking.

All I had to do was reach for them.

I've been sittin here
Tryin to find myself
I get behind myself
I need to rewind myself
Lookin for the payback
Listen for the playback
They say that every man bleeds just like me
And I feel like number one
Yet I'm last in line
I watch my youngest son
And it helps to pass the time
I take too many pills it helps to ease the pain
I made a couple of dollar bills, but still I feel the same
Everybody knows my name
They say it way out loud
A lot of folks fuck with me
It's hard to hang out in crowds
I guess that's the price you pay
To be the man that I am
Out stretched hands and one night stands
Still I can't find love

(thanks to Kid Rock for the majority of the above)

Getting some of my things together... jumping in the shower, shaving and such.
I'm dressed and it's now... 0600hrs!
Now what?
I've 2 hours to kill and I'm ready to go!
What am I to do?

I revert to that which I do best... sit, ponder and think. Thinking of what it took for me to get to this point in time. Knowing where I wanted to be and exactly how to get there. Hoping... fucking HOPING my time alone was finally at an end.

The shuttle was meeting me at what is referred to as T-Pauls.
Little Pauls really.
It's a PETRO Canada gas station.
I grab my things and begin what I hoped would be the next phase of my 'journey'.
And... it's raining.
It's slushy.
And I got slushed.
Oh well... fitting, really.

I hit T-Pauls at 0800 and I await the shuttles arrival for 0815.
It's 0820 and now I begin to wonder.
With the weather and the poor driving conditions would the shuttle actually arrive?
OMG!
0830 and now I'm freaking!

At 0833hrs the shuttle pulls up and out jumps Bernie.

I settle in and make the phone call I'd so been looking forward to making... that I was on my way.
And... NO ANSWER!!!

Awesome.

With 3 travellers in the shuttle and one stop to make, I decided to pass the time by simply being me.
I was simply going to be true to myself in every single instance... every single person I meet and I would be that which I could only be... Me.
Laughter and good conversation filled my ride.

After our pickup in Barrington, we had only one other stop to make, that being in Liverpool. For a coffee and washroom break. OMG there's a McDonald's... coffee and sausage mcmuffins were it for me. Coffee and sandwiches (ok, I had 2) gone, and then I was there!

I knew I'd be meeting someone at my absolute worst. A mess of hair, ill-fitting clothes and having not been to a dentist in a decade... could I pull it off? Show myself at my worst and yet still have the confidence to be true to myself?

So I thought it only 'fair' that I see you at your worst as well.
If you REALLY want to get to know someone in a short period of time simply have a drink with them and deprive them of sleep. Their true nature will reveal itself in no time. And they won't even know it's happening. All you have to do is sit back, watch and listen.

And that's what I did.

I sat and listened and I heard.

/edit
I'd originally posted two paragraphs with the intent to inform and to give an understanding of what I saw.
Despite there being no hostility, nor was I rude in any way... in the end it could be seen as my being bitter.

That said... I will simply say without communication there is nothing.
/end edit

And so I spent that night on the couch and made plans to leave.

Awakening the next morning I find myself famished.
I hadn't eaten supper the night previous and needed something in my tummy.
I said that I'd like to have one of the leftover slices of pizza from the other night.
As I walked to the kitchen a small voice said to me 'there is bacon'.
I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
OMG... how could you!
To tease me with something so dear as bacon!
Still, I turned it down and had my slice along with a cuppa tea.
Getting my things together I couldn't help but feel cheated.
And yet I also knew, just fucking KNEW... that I was back.
That I knew with absolute certainty what has healthy... and what was not healthy for me.

Saying goodbye and leaving, I was greeted by a kilometre hike... UPHILL!!!

I wanted a pack of smokes. Hadn't had one in a few days.

I'm trudging uphill and am greeted by a young man and his woman carrying ubiquitous plastic shopping bags with a Giant Tiger symbol. And... he was wearing a Leaf hat! A sign! I gave him props for the hat and asked where someone might buy a pack of smokes. He replied Giant Tiger. Having never been in one I thought to myself what the heck kind of store would this be?

I entered and knew I had to buy my smokes and get out in hurry. There was SO MUCH to see I couldn't stay! After getting in line and seeing all those eyes upon me (really, not too many like me in that town before I'm sure), so, again... I was simply me.

Exiting I was hit by a bright light!
Shining down on me like a star in the sky.
...
Not really, but it sounds nice.
No, though it WAS a sign... it was simply a sign indicating food and drink.
I trudged across the street with my 2 bags and entered.

The 'restaurant' was occupied by older couples.
Not a good sign.
Ahha!
There was the bar!
The lights were out and no one was tending bar.
Another bad sign.
The wait staff informed me that the manager at the hotel counter could/would serve me.
So I asked for a double Wisers and was greeted with the question whether I wanted a Budweiser.
Um... no... a whiskey please.
No Wisers, Crown or even CC... I was left with Black Velvet (?)
A double BV it was then... and a Keiths to chase it down.
Grabbing a menu I ordered (tada) bacon... a club and fries... and waited.
OMG... there is free wifi!
Online now and logging in I wondered what was happening in the world in my 'absence'.

The food was served in a timely manner and the staff professional and courteous.
Despite not having my whiskey, they DID have bacon. :l
PROPS to the staff at the hotel at the top of Dominion and High St.

Three and a half hours later (and a couple of refills...) and the shuttle still hadn't arrived.
This was yet another bad sign.

I called and was informed they were but minutes away.
woot woot!

The shuttle finally arrives and it is full.
I'm leaving with a somewhat heavy heart.
Heavy because I am still alone.
Yet I am finally, and completely comfortable with that feeling.

How would the passengers 'deal' with me?
Again, by simply being me all seven passengers joined in what became a lively conversation.
And then... then there was Owen & Gerry.

At first I thought it was the Barenaked Ladies and wasn't all that impressed to be hearing them.
Not a fan really.

But then Owen & Gerry began singing their If I Caught a Million Lobsters...
And I was floored!
Hearing them sing along to the rhythm of the Ladies in a Pubnico drawl totally cracked me up!
As it did everyone else.

The conversation really picked up then.
Where was I from... what was I doing here, etc.

And then... seemingly out of nowhere the driver (Peter) said that he too was raised in Toronto.
Me: Burnhamthorpe and Renforth.
He: Kipling and Dixon.
And it was like OMGIWENTTOSTGREGSOMGIWENTTONATIVITY!!!

What a small, beautiful fucking world we live in.

You ever need a ride around the south shore, call Peter at cloud9 shuttle.

TOLL FREE 1-888-805-3335 or 902-742-3992 CALL NOW!

:l

To the man who was returning home... the quiet lady sitting shotgun... Peter, the mother and her daughter returning from hospital... the grandmother returning home to see her family... and the woman fresh out of rehab returning to her family for the fist time in a year... I thank you.

After pulling up to T-Pauls and disembarking... I said my goodbyes and was greeted with a 'nice to meet you' and a few 'take cares'. To the woman out of rehab, I reached out, put my hand on her arm... looked her right in the eye... and said that she'd be just fine.

Perhaps that was the purpose of my trip afterall?
That someone in their time of darkness... needed a reminder that it would be ok... if they simply believed in themselves.

After grabbing bread and milk I was left with a short walk 'home'.
I thought again of my time there...

Yeah, it's over now
But I can breathe somehow
When it's all worn out
I'd rather go without

My initial instincts were correct.
Aren't they always?
You just have to believe in yourself.

Every day truly is a winding road.
I am back.
Back, bigger and badder than ever before.
You better be ready for Me because I am here, and I am ready.
Bring it on...



If only... Read More...

Once a Princess...

I had first composed a long(ish) and (somewhat) rambling expose on the life and times of your Father.
In the hopes that maybe, you... will come to understand Me a little.

I decided though that now is not the time.

Instead I will say;

I let You down.
I disappointed You.
And really that's why you're upset.
You're hurt.
And I was the one that hurt You.
And I hurt because of this.
But it's now become what WE do about it.
There is a difference between being disappointed in someones actions/decisions and being disappointed in someone as a person
This doesn't mean I'm a bad person.
It just means Your Father is human.
I know that one day You WILL be ready to understand this.
To accept this...
I am sorry.
I Love You My Princess.
Happy 21st Birthday.
A day that I too could never forget.
Dad xx Read More...

Heart like a stone

Today is Valentines Day.
Traditionally, the day when couples who ignore each others feelings all year spend a few bucks on a card/flowers/wine/bacon in the hopes their ignorance and selfishness is forgotten the remainder of the year.
If only these couples would share/respect each others feelings every day of the year.
If you don't feel it to the depths of your very soul then why are you together?
So, a Happy IONLYCAREABOUTYOUWHENITSCONVENIENT Day.
If you do it right, you may even get sex.
Now, isn't that special?



...meh. Read More...

and there we have it...

Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships. Read More...

Leafs/Habs 2013.1

And with that I am now 3-1 against you... and against the Hated Habs.
...
:l
pwnd
...
Again.
:l
Thank you... thank you very much.
...
:l
Alls well. Read More...

And then there is Hockey...

So much to say... so little time.

So I will simply say I am 2-1 in Leaf/Habs games in the past 3 season openers.
Will I be 3-1?

Happy New Years everyone... all the best to you and yours. Read More...