100 reasons on...

Why it's great being a Guy;

Reason 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Reason 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
Reason 3. You know stuff about tanks.
Reason 4. A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Reason 5. Monday Night Football
Reason 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends’ sex lives.
Reason 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
Reason 8. You can open all your own jars.
Reason 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained weight.
Reason 10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind.
Reason 11. When clicking through the channels, you don’t have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
Reason 12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
Reason 13. All your orgasms are real.
Reason 14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
Reason 15. Guys in hockey masks don’t attack you.
Reason 16. You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
Reason 17. You understand why “Stripes” is funny.
Reason 18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
Reason 19. Your last name stays put.
Reason 20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
Reason 21. When your work is criticized, you don’t have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
Reason 22. You can kill your own food.
Reason 23. The garage is all yours.
Reason 24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Reason 25. You see the humour in “Terms of Endearment”.
Reason 26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
Reason 27. You never have to clean the toilet.
Reason 28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
Reason 29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
Reason 30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Reason 31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Reason 32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
Reason 33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
Reason 34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
Reason 35. You don’t have to shave below the neck.
Reason 36. You don’t have to curl up to a hairy ass every night.
Reason 37. If you are 34 and single nobody notices.
Reason 38. You can write your name in the snow.
Reason 39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
Reason 40. Everything on your face stays its original colour.
Reason 41. Chocolate is just another snack.
Reason 42. You can be president.
Reason 43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
Reason 44. Flowers fix everything.
Reason 45. You never have to worry about other people’s feelings.
Reason 46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
Reason 47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Reason 48. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Reason 49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
Reason 50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
Reason 51. Foreplay is optional.
Reason 52. Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe.
Reason 53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
Reason 54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
Reason 55. You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
Reason 56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
Reason 57. Car mechanics tell the truth.
Reason 58. You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
Reason 59. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking “he must be mad at me”.
Reason 60. The world is your urinal.
Reason 61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
Reason 62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
Reason 63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
Reason 64. One mood, all the time.
Reason 65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
Reason 66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one is just too skeevy.
Reason 67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
Reason 68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
Reason 69. Same work, more pay.
Reason 70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
Reason 71. You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
Reason 72. Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100.
Reason 73. You don’t care if someone is talking behind your back.
Reason 74. With 400 million sperm per shot you could double the earth’s population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
Reason 75. You don’t mooch off others’ desserts.
Reason 76. If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
Reason 77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
Reason 78. People never glance at your chest when you are talking to them.
Reason 79. ESPN’s sports centre.
Reason 80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
Reason 81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
Reason 82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
Reason 83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
Reason 84. You needn’t pretend you’re “freshening up” to go to the bathroom.
Reason 85. If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t tell your friends you’ve changed.
Reason 86. Someday you will be a dirty old man.
Reason 87. You can rationalize any behaviour with the handy phrase “Fuck it”.
Reason 88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
Reason 89. Princess Di’s death was almost just another obituary.
Reason 90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Reason 91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you are not in the mood.
Reason 92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
Reason 93. If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
Reason 94. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Reason 95. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
Reason 96. You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries.
Reason 97. Not liking a person doesn’t preclude having great sex with them.
Reason 98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with “So … notice anything different?”
Reason 99. Baywatch.
Reason 100. There is always a game on somewhere.