Ya... but

Robin Williams
July 21, 1951 – August 11, 2014

Actor/Comedian Robin Williams took his own life yesterday.

He was but 63 years of age.

He won Emmys, Grammys and an Academy Award.

He had family, children and friends.

He also had money.

Some would say he seemingly had it 'all.'

They would be wrong.

It's been said (and ego aside - and, it IS aside), but, the more intelligent one is the less happy one is. Further... the more alone you are. Read up on it here and here.

It's sad but the vast majority of people are ignorant about mental health issues. Scary given recent 'studies' have shown that a staggering 1in4 people suffer from a mental illness.

A blog posting published today at the guardian is both insightful and disturbing.

It comes out hitting in saying "...to say taking your own life because of such an illness is a ‘selfish’ act does nothing but insult the deceased, potentially cause more harm and reveal a staggering ignorance of mental health problems."

Indeed.

One of Williams more oft used quotes is...

I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.
I can totally relate to those words.

A buddy of mine said the following...

I'm having problems with Robin Williams death, for me , it's because it makes sense. I can't say I agree with what he did, but I understand how he got there.
"...but I understand how he got there."

I do indeed.

My second 'attempt' at suicide was at the age of 6.
Yes, you read that right.

'Tried' once, and the idea of suicide is with you every single day.

Every... single... day.

Oh I'm not saying I want to kill myself every minute. But the idea is always there... in the back of one's mind.

And at the age of 51yrs I can't see that changing any time soon.

Twice in my life I'd been hit with what's referred to as a Major Depressive Disorder. Basically... clinically depressed. Namely... characterized by a pervasive and persistent low mood that is accompanied by low self-esteem and by a loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities.

Being adopted (twice) added to the sense of 'not measuring up'... of being 'inadequate.' It is (and has been) a life-long challenge of mine.

Wasn't that long ago that I was fortunate in having a close friend who just 'happened along' when I needed someone. He begged me to check myself in to a crisis unit... and that is exactly what I did. For 13 days I was an in-patient at a local hospital.

Why?

I am in constant physical pain. Not a little ache here and there. Pain at the point where you don't have the energy to get out of bed. That kind of pain. Add to the fact I hadn't been sleeping and... well.

I'm now under the care of a pain specialist, and have my CPAP back... so pain is being 'managed' (and that's really all I can expect), and... I'm sleeping. These two 'small' things have made the difference in my world. Things don't seem unbearable/hopeless any more.

If you know of someone who suffers (in silence or otherwise) reach out to them. Let them know they are not along.

If you feel as if you are at your wits end... if you feel lost, hopeless... alone... suicide is NOT the answer. It's not any answer. Make a call to a family member, a friend... a crisis line in your area... just don't think that it'll all be ok when you're dead.

It's never ok.

I'll leave you with these...

Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don't kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, "He fought so hard." And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong. ― Sally Brampton, Shoot The Damn Dog: A Memoir Of Depression

Hide in your shell cos the world is out to bleed you for a ride
What will you gain making your life a little longer?
Heaven or Hell, was the journey cold that gave your eyes of steel?
Shelter behind painting your mind and playing joker
Hide in Your Shell - Supertramp

Read More...

The finer sex

Alicia being real...

Today the world over celebrates International Women's Day 2014. ... I say the world over but that's really not the case, is it?

On this day women will not only enjoy time with their family's, their lovers... or enjoy a good book, they will also suffer, be raped, killed and brutalized.

I lost my Mom in 2010... I miss her every day.

The picture to the right is of my (soon to be) 22yr old daughter, Alicia Maree. Course, she has a little of me in her... her humour is evident. I asked for a pic of her for this post... else I'd post a duck-face one.

She sent me this.

I think it fitting.

The following is taken from the Wikipedia article.

"International Women's Day, also called International Working Women's Day, is marked on March 8 every year. In different regions the focus of the celebrations ranges from general celebration of respect, appreciation and love towards women to a celebration for women's economic, political, and social achievements. Started as a Socialist political event, the holiday blended in the culture of many countries, primarily in Europe, including Russia. In some regions, the day lost its political flavour, and became simply an occasion for men to express their love for women in a way somewhat similar to a mixture of Mother's Day and Valentine's Day. In other regions, however, the political and human rights theme designated by the United Nations runs strong, and political and social awareness of the struggles of women worldwide are brought out and examined in a hopeful manner. This is a day which some people celebrate by wearing purple ribbons."
Some sobering statistics
* 1.3 women (ages 18 and over) in the United States are forcibly raped each minute. That translates to 78 per hour, 1,871 per day, or 683,000 per year. * 60% of the women who reported being raped were under 18 years old * 29% were less than 11 years old * 32% were between 11 and 17 * 22% were between 18 and 24 * 7% were between 25 and 29 * 6% were older than 29

Number of U.S. troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq: 6,614:

Number of women, in the same period, killed as the result of domestic violence in the US: 11,766

Number of people per minute who experience intimate partner violence in the U.S.: 24

Number of workplace violence incidents in the U.S. annually that are the result of current or past intimate partner assaults: 18,700

Number of women in the U.S. who report intimate partner violence: 1 in 4

Number of men in the U.S. who report intimate partner violence: 1 in 7*

Number of women who will experience partner violence worldwide: 1 in 3

Order of causes of death for European women ages 16-44: domestic violence, cancer, traffic accidents

Increase in likelihood that a woman will die a violent death if a gun in present in the home: 270 percent

Number of women killed by spouses who were shot by guns kept by men in the home in France and South Africa: 1 in 3

Percentage of the 900 million small arms that are kept in the home, worldwide: 75

Country in which 943 women were killed in honor killings in 2011: Pakistan

City in which man "butchered" his wife in front of their six children in 2012: Berlin

States in which man decapitated his wife with a chainsaw in 2010 and another man did the same, respectively: Texas and New York

Percentages of people killed in the U.S. by an intimate partner: 30 percent of women, 5.3 percent of men.

Number of gay and bisexual men who experience domestic violence in the U.S.: 2 in 5 (similar to heterosexual women)

Percentage of the 31 Senate votes cast against the Violence Against Women Act that came from older, white, male Republicans: 95.8

Percentage of the 31 Senate votes cast against the Violence Against Women Act that came from a younger, male Republicans, at least one of whom sits on the Science Committee but is unable to say how old the Earth is: 4.2

Number of legal, medical, professional, faith-based and advocacy groups that signed a letter protesting the stripped-down VAWA: 300

First year that the Republican-led House of Representatives eroded VAWA of provisions designed to increase protections for Native Americans, immigrant women, members of the LGTBQ community and, yes, men: 2012

Estimated number of children, worldwide, exposed to domestic violence everyday: 10,000,000

Worldwide, likelihood that a man who grew up in a household with domestic violence grows up to be an abuser: 3 to 4 times more likely than if he hadn't.

Chance that a girl of high school age in the U.S. experiences violence in a dating relationship: 1 in 3

Percentage of teen rape and abuse victims who report their assailant as an intimate: 76

Percentage of U.S. cities citing domestic abuse as the primary cause of homelessness: 50

Percentage of homeless women reporting domestic abuse: 63

Percentage of homeless women with children reporting domestic abuse: 92

Percentage of women with disabilities who report violence: 40

Annual cost of domestic violence in the U.S. related to health care: $5.8 billion

Annual cost of domestic violence in the U.S. related to emergency care plus legal costs, police work, lost productivity: 37 billion dollars

Annual number of jobs lost in the U.S. as a result of intimate partner violence: 32,000

Percentage change between 1980 and 2008 of women and men killed by intimate partners in the U.S.: (w) 43 percent to 45 percent; (m) 10 percent to 5 percent

Average cost of emergency care for domestic abuse related incidents for women and men according to the CDC: $948.00 for women, $387 for men

Increase in portrayals of violence against girls and women on network TV during a five year period ending in 2009: 120 percent

The number one cause of death for African American women ages 15-34 according to the American Bar Association: homicide at the hands of a partner

Chance that a lesbian** in the U.S. will experience domestic (not necessarily intimate partner) violence: 50 percent

Chances that a gay man experiences domestic violence: 2 out of 5*

Ratio of women shot and killed by a husband or intimate partner compared to the total number of murders of men by strangers using any time of weapon, from 2002 homicide figures: 3X

Number of people who will be stalked in their lifetimes: 1 in 45 men and 1 in 12 women (broken out: 17 percent of American Indian and Alaska Native women; 8.2 percent of white women, 6.5 pecent of African American women, and 4.5 percent of Asian/Pacific Islander women)

Percentage of stalkers identified as known to victims: 90.3

Percentage of abused women in the U.S. who report being strangled by a spouse in the past year: 33 to 47.3 (this abuse often leaves no physical signs)

According to one study, percentage of domestic abuse victims who are tried to leave after less severe violent and nonviolent instances of abuse: 66 versus less than 25

Average number of times an abuser hits his spouse before she makes a police report: 35

No. 1 and No. 2 causes of women's deaths during pregnancy in the U.S.: Domestic homicide and suicide, often tied to abuse

Number of women killed by spouses who were shot by guns kept by men in the home in the United States: 2 in 3

Percentage of rape and sexual assault victims under the age of 18 who are raped by a family member: 34

Number of women killed everyday in the U.S. by a spouse: 3+

The primary reason cited by right-wing conservatives for objecting to the Violence Against Women Act: To protect the family.

Percentage reduction in reports of violence after men and women in South Africa went through an educational training program on health, domestic violence and gender norms: 55

Number of members of Congress who have gone through an educational training program on health, economics, violence, and gender norms: 0

And those are just statistics from the U.S.
I can't imagine the numbers for the entire world.
It's clear we have a lot of work to do.
Do your part!
Start on this very day... celebrating the finer sex.

Greg Read More...

A hippy catches a ride with Owen & Gerry

This is a story of confidence.

A tale of a man who'd been alone so long and whether or not he could remain true to himself when confronted with that which his heart desires.

See, I'd always been one to get 'caught up' in something/someone new. Get lost in them...

So it was with a sense of anticipation that I ventured out in to the 'real world' on my first solo flight since my arrival here in The 'Head in July of 2011. Since I'd been given back something that was taken from me oh so long ago. Since I'd left Toronto and let go of what I needed to. I'd already been tested by the one who first took what was (and is) rightfully mine. I was true to myself then, and knew 'everything' would eventually be ok.

My heart was pounding.

My excitement level was high.

So much so that I awoke at 0333hrs and realized that was all the sleep I was going to get. A cuppa tea, d00b and my last smoke and I wasn't moving anywhere for the next few hours. Lying there, alone... stretched out on the couch, I saw all my hopes and dreams right before me.

There for the taking.

All I had to do was reach for them.

I've been sittin here
Tryin to find myself
I get behind myself
I need to rewind myself
Lookin for the payback
Listen for the playback
They say that every man bleeds just like me
And I feel like number one
Yet I'm last in line
I watch my youngest son
And it helps to pass the time
I take too many pills it helps to ease the pain
I made a couple of dollar bills, but still I feel the same
Everybody knows my name
They say it way out loud
A lot of folks fuck with me
It's hard to hang out in crowds
I guess that's the price you pay
To be the man that I am
Out stretched hands and one night stands
Still I can't find love

(thanks to Kid Rock for the majority of the above)

Getting some of my things together... jumping in the shower, shaving and such.
I'm dressed and it's now... 0600hrs!
Now what?
I've 2 hours to kill and I'm ready to go!
What am I to do?

I revert to that which I do best... sit, ponder and think. Thinking of what it took for me to get to this point in time. Knowing where I wanted to be and exactly how to get there. Hoping... fucking HOPING my time alone was finally at an end.

The shuttle was meeting me at what is referred to as T-Pauls.
Little Pauls really.
It's a PETRO Canada gas station.
I grab my things and begin what I hoped would be the next phase of my 'journey'.
And... it's raining.
It's slushy.
And I got slushed.
Oh well... fitting, really.

I hit T-Pauls at 0800 and I await the shuttles arrival for 0815.
It's 0820 and now I begin to wonder.
With the weather and the poor driving conditions would the shuttle actually arrive?
OMG!
0830 and now I'm freaking!

At 0833hrs the shuttle pulls up and out jumps Bernie.

I settle in and make the phone call I'd so been looking forward to making... that I was on my way.
And... NO ANSWER!!!

Awesome.

With 3 travellers in the shuttle and one stop to make, I decided to pass the time by simply being me.
I was simply going to be true to myself in every single instance... every single person I meet and I would be that which I could only be... Me.
Laughter and good conversation filled my ride.

After our pickup in Barrington, we had only one other stop to make, that being in Liverpool. For a coffee and washroom break. OMG there's a McDonald's... coffee and sausage mcmuffins were it for me. Coffee and sandwiches (ok, I had 2) gone, and then I was there!

I knew I'd be meeting someone at my absolute worst. A mess of hair, ill-fitting clothes and having not been to a dentist in a decade... could I pull it off? Show myself at my worst and yet still have the confidence to be true to myself?

So I thought it only 'fair' that I see you at your worst as well.
If you REALLY want to get to know someone in a short period of time simply have a drink with them and deprive them of sleep. Their true nature will reveal itself in no time. And they won't even know it's happening. All you have to do is sit back, watch and listen.

And that's what I did.

I sat and listened and I heard.

/edit
I'd originally posted two paragraphs with the intent to inform and to give an understanding of what I saw.
Despite there being no hostility, nor was I rude in any way... in the end it could be seen as my being bitter.

That said... I will simply say without communication there is nothing.
/end edit

And so I spent that night on the couch and made plans to leave.

Awakening the next morning I find myself famished.
I hadn't eaten supper the night previous and needed something in my tummy.
I said that I'd like to have one of the leftover slices of pizza from the other night.
As I walked to the kitchen a small voice said to me 'there is bacon'.
I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
OMG... how could you!
To tease me with something so dear as bacon!
Still, I turned it down and had my slice along with a cuppa tea.
Getting my things together I couldn't help but feel cheated.
And yet I also knew, just fucking KNEW... that I was back.
That I knew with absolute certainty what has healthy... and what was not healthy for me.

Saying goodbye and leaving, I was greeted by a kilometre hike... UPHILL!!!

I wanted a pack of smokes. Hadn't had one in a few days.

I'm trudging uphill and am greeted by a young man and his woman carrying ubiquitous plastic shopping bags with a Giant Tiger symbol. And... he was wearing a Leaf hat! A sign! I gave him props for the hat and asked where someone might buy a pack of smokes. He replied Giant Tiger. Having never been in one I thought to myself what the heck kind of store would this be?

I entered and knew I had to buy my smokes and get out in hurry. There was SO MUCH to see I couldn't stay! After getting in line and seeing all those eyes upon me (really, not too many like me in that town before I'm sure), so, again... I was simply me.

Exiting I was hit by a bright light!
Shining down on me like a star in the sky.
...
Not really, but it sounds nice.
No, though it WAS a sign... it was simply a sign indicating food and drink.
I trudged across the street with my 2 bags and entered.

The 'restaurant' was occupied by older couples.
Not a good sign.
Ahha!
There was the bar!
The lights were out and no one was tending bar.
Another bad sign.
The wait staff informed me that the manager at the hotel counter could/would serve me.
So I asked for a double Wisers and was greeted with the question whether I wanted a Budweiser.
Um... no... a whiskey please.
No Wisers, Crown or even CC... I was left with Black Velvet (?)
A double BV it was then... and a Keiths to chase it down.
Grabbing a menu I ordered (tada) bacon... a club and fries... and waited.
OMG... there is free wifi!
Online now and logging in I wondered what was happening in the world in my 'absence'.

The food was served in a timely manner and the staff professional and courteous.
Despite not having my whiskey, they DID have bacon. :l
PROPS to the staff at the hotel at the top of Dominion and High St.

Three and a half hours later (and a couple of refills...) and the shuttle still hadn't arrived.
This was yet another bad sign.

I called and was informed they were but minutes away.
woot woot!

The shuttle finally arrives and it is full.
I'm leaving with a somewhat heavy heart.
Heavy because I am still alone.
Yet I am finally, and completely comfortable with that feeling.

How would the passengers 'deal' with me?
Again, by simply being me all seven passengers joined in what became a lively conversation.
And then... then there was Owen & Gerry.

At first I thought it was the Barenaked Ladies and wasn't all that impressed to be hearing them.
Not a fan really.

But then Owen & Gerry began singing their If I Caught a Million Lobsters...
And I was floored!
Hearing them sing along to the rhythm of the Ladies in a Pubnico drawl totally cracked me up!
As it did everyone else.

The conversation really picked up then.
Where was I from... what was I doing here, etc.

And then... seemingly out of nowhere the driver (Peter) said that he too was raised in Toronto.
Me: Burnhamthorpe and Renforth.
He: Kipling and Dixon.
And it was like OMGIWENTTOSTGREGSOMGIWENTTONATIVITY!!!

What a small, beautiful fucking world we live in.

You ever need a ride around the south shore, call Peter at cloud9 shuttle.

TOLL FREE 1-888-805-3335 or 902-742-3992 CALL NOW!

:l

To the man who was returning home... the quiet lady sitting shotgun... Peter, the mother and her daughter returning from hospital... the grandmother returning home to see her family... and the woman fresh out of rehab returning to her family for the fist time in a year... I thank you.

After pulling up to T-Pauls and disembarking... I said my goodbyes and was greeted with a 'nice to meet you' and a few 'take cares'. To the woman out of rehab, I reached out, put my hand on her arm... looked her right in the eye... and said that she'd be just fine.

Perhaps that was the purpose of my trip afterall?
That someone in their time of darkness... needed a reminder that it would be ok... if they simply believed in themselves.

After grabbing bread and milk I was left with a short walk 'home'.
I thought again of my time there...

Yeah, it's over now
But I can breathe somehow
When it's all worn out
I'd rather go without

My initial instincts were correct.
Aren't they always?
You just have to believe in yourself.

Every day truly is a winding road.
I am back.
Back, bigger and badder than ever before.
You better be ready for Me because I am here, and I am ready.
Bring it on...



If only... Read More...

and there we have it...

Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships. Read More...

And then there is Hockey...

So much to say... so little time.

So I will simply say I am 2-1 in Leaf/Habs games in the past 3 season openers.
Will I be 3-1?

Happy New Years everyone... all the best to you and yours. Read More...

Fresh Ink...

It's been, well, I won't say exactly HOW long it's been but it's been a while.
:l
Perhaps it was a matter of waiting for something to happen.
My left arm felt incomplete (despite the steel plate).
...

<RANDOM - oh, ya... and you look SO happy > *chuckle*

Part 2 & 3 are now ready to go, app't made.
I figure it's about time.

Pics to follow. Read More...

Wow

"It takes considerable courage and commitment to be brutally honest with oneself. But it is precisely this willingness to stop our chronic self-deception and face the truth that finally sets us free." Read More...

And this is my Surprise Face...

 
Apparently women will engage in casual sex when they expect to be satisfied.

Ya, says so right here.

In other news, men like sex. Read More...

Cold was my soul...

Goodbye My Love

Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A "V" of black swans
On with hope to the grave
And though Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones

Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain....
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key...

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discoulours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission
None better

Nymphetamine
Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl.
Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine
My Nymphetamine girl.

Wracked with your charm
I'm circled like prey
Back in the forest
Were whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt...
(Keeping Sodom at at bay)

Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric away
And dance out to the moon
As we did in those golden days

Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the bind of your holiness
I could always find the right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discoulours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission
None better...
Nymphetamine
sunsetter
nymphetemine
nympheta, nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
Nymphetamine girl.
Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
My Nymphetamine girl.

Read More...

Un-frosted flakes...

"People so seldom say I love you and then it's either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I Love You, it doesn't mean I know you'll never go, only that I wish you didn't have to."

World English Dictionary defines 'flake' as an eccentric, crazy, or unreliable person. Whereas Urban Dictionary.com defines it as 'A useless, shady, deceitful person who is so unreliable and selfish they cause you much anger and frustration. A Flake's only agenda is what they want to do. They have a weak character, often the products of bad parenting/spoiling kids. A Flake will make plans, never attend, and give no reason for their absence, even after they spent hours calling, texting, or emailing you. Flakes try to manipulate everybody, and sometimes are not the idiots they appear to be. A Flake often has little to no real friends due to their erratic behavior. You can never rely on a Flake. When questioned about their behavior, a Flake just gives up on the relationship and moves on to another person. Flakes can't get by in the real world and often act immature beyond their years, causing them to be labeled as "useless" human beings.'

An example would be;

This girl called 15 times in one day and we decided to go out that night with some other friends. She arrives at the our meeting point, walks right by me like she doesn't know me, sits down with somebody else, and then proceeds to leave with them. Then, she stops answering her phone even though I know she sees my calls. A week or so later, she calls me again because she has nobody else to hang out with and wants to do something. However, she avoided all my phone calls for a week. Then she got mad when I confronted her about it. That's when I understood why people used to tell me she was "a useless flake" who still lives at home with her parents. When she was mentioned in a conversation someone always used the word "flake" in there somewhere.

Or how about something a little more personal;

We'd spent the entire weekend together. On the Sunday she says she's gonna drop by her friends place, but not for long, no more than 90mins or so. Course, 2hrs goes by and a txt is sent saying I'm on my way, cya soon. Shortly thereafter one is received saying no, not yet, that more time was needed. As she describes this friend as her cross-dressing-faggot-loser-friend-don't call me Roy call me Ang, I get a little suspicious. I never hear from her again that night. Ignores my calls, no response to my txt's. A txt is received the next morning saying she is stopping by on her way to work to grab her things...

The road was hard, the road was long. The struggle has always been how to reconcile our time together against our time apart.

In the end, in giving her one last opportunity she didn't surprise me in the least. And now I know with absolute certainty what a flake really is.

And that lesson I'll be carrying with me the remainder of my days.

'It was always mine anyways.'

Doesn't make this any less painful...

Sit down, take a look at yourself
Don't you want to be somebody
Someday somebody's gonna see inside
You have to face up, you can't run and hide...

Will you though?
Can you?

No, I finally accept that you cannot and that you are truly a lost soul.

I weep for your soul...

Read More...

Simply because...

I love you and because I love you I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies. Read More...

The Perfect Date?

Men's Health Magazine has posted an article entitled 20 Simple Tips for the Perfect Date.

And without further ado;

1. It's okay to suggest a drink instead of dinner for a first date. She dreads a boring four-course ordeal, too.

2. Call her by early evening on Monday to confirm a Tuesday get-together. (Weekends aren't for first dates.)

3. Leave your home and work numbers. No home number and she'll assume you have a wife or girlfriend.

4. If you want to keep the plans a surprise, at least clue her in as to what to wear. You do not want an overdressed, overstressed woman navigating the Talladega pits in high heels

5. Yes, she'll notice if the date location you've chosen is conveniently around the block from your place.

6. Don't assume that just because you're out with a beautiful woman, she knows how pretty she looks -- she wants to hear it from you.

7. Ask if she's too cold or too warm, and if changing the temperature is in your power, fix it.

8. Men judge women according to whether they can picture having sex with them; women judge men by whether they can imagine kissing them. White teeth, fresh breath, and unchapped lips make her more apt to pucker up.

9. Do not ask her, "So, what kind of music do you like?" The last 25 guys asked that. Be original.

10. She loves when you insist on ordering dessert. Sharing = extra sexy.

11. Tip well: Grab the check, mentally divide the bill by 10, double that number, and throw down the tip. Do it quickly but casually. Believe me, she'll be watching.

12. If she touches your arm, she's interested; if she touches your leg, she's interested tonight.

13. When in doubt, hold her hand.

14. Very small protective gestures go a long way and show her you're a gentleman: Offer your arm as she's stepping from a curb, direct her away from shards of broken glass aka Say Anything. She'll notice if you wait until she's safely in her car or house before you leave. Wait the extra 90 seconds, and next time you might be going in with her.

15. She expects you to know her eye color after the first date.

16. Women need momentum -- without it, they lose interest or wonder if you have. Momentum = a minimum of one date a week, plus a couple of phone calls in between.

17. She knows that when you invite her over for a homemade meal or to watch a movie, it's code for "tonight is hook-up night." Don't play this card any earlier than date three.

18. A Friday or Saturday night is required by date four. Otherwise, she'll wonder who else you're seeing.

19. Rule of Groping: If anything happens that couldn't be shown on prime-time TV, call her the next day. Otherwise, she'll feel cheap and used.

20. Don't say, "I'll call you," if you have no intention to. She'd prefer that you say nothing at all. Read More...

Quelle surprise!

I'd posted earlier on what is traditionally known as the Femme-Fatale.
Today I read that women prefer men with the 'bad-boy' look...

Mickey Rourke

By a wide margin, women really do find bad boys more attractive than their kind and happy counterparts, a new University of British Columbia study says.

Ya, turns out it's all about the **** after-all... Read More...

And so, it has...

I've tried to mend
The love that ended
Long ago although we still pretend
Our love is surely coming to an end
Don't waste the time you've got to love again

We tried to lie
But you and I
Know better than to let each other lie
The thought of lying to you makes me cry
Counting up the time that's passed us by

I've sent this letter hoping it will reach your hand
And if it does I hope that you will understand

That I must leave in a while
And though I smile
You know the smile is only there to hide
What I'm really feeling deep inside
Just a face where I can hang my pride

Goodbye...
Goodbye...

We'll talk of places that we went
And times that we have spent
Together penniless and free

You'll see the day another way
And wake up with the sunshine
pouring right down where you lay

You'll love again I don't know when
But if you do I know that
you'll be happy in the end

Read More...

She's all that...

(Light it up)

We've been a little more than just friends
And in most cases, that's just where it ends
But I took the time to stoke up your flame
Can I get a witness to back up my claim
Now I'm standing so close to your fire
If I say that I quit ya, you can call me a liar

Now, we've been a little more than just friends
And where we go now, I guess that depends
If I get myself caught up in your scene
Black hair, black coffee, and hard nicotine

I can't sleep, I can't eat
Need you t' hold my hand
So I can cross the street

Oh yeah, she's all that
Oh yeah, she's all that
Sugar in my coffee, oh yeah
Makes me mean
Oh yeah, she's all that
Oh yeah, she's all that
I'm her silver dollar
She's my slot machine
Oh yeah, she's all that
Oh yeah, she's all that
Oh yeah, well I call her -
She's my Nicotine

Now, we've been a little more than just friends
And where we go now, I guess that depends

Oh yeah, she's all that
Oh yeah, she's all that
Sugar in my coffee, oh yeah
Makes me mean
Oh yeah, she's all that
Oh yeah, she's all that
She's my V8 motor
I'm her gasoline
Oh yeah, she's all that
Oh yeah, she's all that
I'm her silver dollar
She's my slot machine
Oh yeah, she's all that
Oh yeah, she's all that
Oh yeah, well I call her -
She's my Nicotine

Read More...

Apparently...

Men think about things other than sex!

Who knew? Read More...

I beg your pardon?

Allow me to set the scene...

It's Sunday, 'round dinner time.
In a local (and smallish) grocery store picking up a few things.
At the checkout now.
There is a couple at the head of the line.
'She' has just finished picking out a chocolate bar (I guess as a desert to go along with the dinner they're obviously making).
Now, he's up for a pick.

And... roll 'em.

As he's reaching for a Skor (well done buddy... my personal fav), arms akimbo, the woman pipes up with "ha, he's always had a hard time making a decision" (or something to that affect.
With a head toss, and a chuckle, as if she were being funny, at his expense.
The guy was not impressed.
And from what I saw, neither were anyone else in the line, nor was the cashier.
Who, in fact, came to his defense.
He tells the woman that was a sexist comment (attempting to use the fact he's a man, which means indecisive [according to her]), and, that he felt she was making light of this 'fact'... in public, for her amusement.
She is clearly not getting it, and is becoming both embarrassed (that this man, is calling her on her s**t in public?) and, defensive.
He lets it slide (what I hope is), for now.

I see this as no different than if it were him making a comment about her being indecisive simply because of her ample breasts... and then making light of it, in public!

Ya, see what I'm saying?




So then is the above comment sexist or ignorant?

Or both?

What say you... Read More...

Forgiveness...

If today does indeed bring about the end of this world (*cough*), I just want to apologize to those I have harmed or caused pain to.

I am sorry, be well.

And to you (the both of you, the only 2 women I've truly loved)... I am sorry and, I forgive you.

Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time. - Sara Paddison







Over to Don Henley, and how only he can sing it;



I got the call today I didn't wanna hear,
But I knew that it would come,
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone,
She said you found someone,
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through,
And how I lost me, and you lost you,
What are these voices outside love's open door,
Make us throw off our contentment,
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now,
But I miss you sometimes,
The more I know, the less I understand,
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again,

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter,
But my will gets weak,
And my thoughts seem to scatter,
But I think it's about forgiveness,
Forgiveness,
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore,

These times are so uncertain,
There's a yearning undefined,
People filled with rage,
We all need a little tenderness,
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness,
They're the very things we kill, I guess,
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms,
And the work I put between us,
You know it doesn't keep me warm,

I'm learning to live without you now,
But I miss you, baby,
The more I know, the less I understand,
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again,

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter,
But everything changes,
And my friends seem to scatter,
But I think it's about forgiveness,
Forgiveness,
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore,

There are people in your life who've come and gone,
They let you down,
You know they hurt your pride,
You'd better put it all behind you, baby, 'cause life goes on,
You keep carryin' that anger,
It'll eat you inside, baby,

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter,
But my will gets weak,
And my thoughts seem to scatter,
But I think it's about forgiveness,
Forgiveness,
Even if, even if you don't love me,

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter,
Because the flesh will get weak,
And the ashes will scatter,
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness,
Forgiveness,
Even if, even if you don't love me,

Forgiveness (hey),
Forgiveness (baby),
Forgiveness (oh),
Forgiveness (hey hey),
Forgiveness (oh),
Forgiveness,
Even if you don't love me anymore,
Forgiveness (ooh),
Forgiveness (oh).


Now, bring on those F00KIN ZOMBIES!!! Read More...

It is what it is...

It has been said that the definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over while expecting a different result.





With that said;

1. If something that your partner says/does irks/annoys you, describe how and why it annoys you, and ask him/her to consider that you will feel the same way next time
2. If/when it recurs, mention that this is a repetition of the thing that you previously found annoying
3. Shut up
4. Cut and run

So, why then is it always so hard?

Accept, and what will be, will be.

Lesson learned.

Move along... nothing to see here. Read More...

Variations on a theme 2

There's someone I used to see... but she don't give a damn for me

Though the river flows gently to the sea
He was on the shore rooted like a tree
She was here and there riding on the waves
Through it all she heard his call and gave it all she gave

And though their love was hangin' on a limb
She taught him how to dance and start again

Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start

I've really been the best, the best of fools, I did what I could, yeah
'Cause I love you, baby, How I love you, darling, How I love you, baby
I'm in love with you, girl, little girl
But baby, Since I've Been Loving You, yeah. I'm about to lose my worried mind, ah, yeah

Everybody trying to tell me that you didn't mean me no good
I've been trying, Lord, let me tell you, Let me tell you I really did the best I could

Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds, and marks
Any heart, not tough
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts

I've tried hard to live without you, in so many ways
I just can't help myself from thinking of you, for the rest of my days
Heartache is at my door step, won't leave me alone
I just can't get used to it, now that I'm on my own

Mean mistreater, you make me cry
You lay around, and watch me die
Mean mistreater, can't you see I'm real
Are you satisfied, with the way you feel

You think you're special
You do
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it when you laugh at me
Look down on me
And walk around on me

(But you were)
My so-called girl, but in reality
Had a hidden agenda
You put my tender, heart in a blender
And still I surrendered

Like a chump...
Why did it take so long
Why, did I wait so long, huh
To figure it out, but I did it
And I'm the only one
Underneath the sun who didn't get it
I can't believe that I could be deceived

Whine, whine, whine
How can you afford to throw me those looks when you haven't pulled the bloody wool from over your eyes yet
How can you say those things to me when you haven't pulled the boot of the past out of your mouth
Your conviction is merely iconographic. I'm so sick of hearing you whine... shut up

I'll chain you to the truth
For the truth shall set you free
I'll turn the screws of vengeance
And bury you with honesty

because you're sick of yourself
well I'm sick of you too - fake
you're a counterfeit - fake
you know we figured you out
well I'm sick of you too - fake
you're a counterfeit...fake

There's nothing for you to fight against
You're so unreal it's evident
You'll never be one of a kind
This ain't yours, fuck you don't try

This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way
It's my way
My way or the highway

And one day when I am old and on the porch
With knittings around my knees you hear me say
Excuse me please,but aren't you the one
And wasn't it fun way back when

Or maybe in a year you'll reappear
And if that should come true
I'd throw my arms around you and watch you smile
Just for awhile once again

When you're weary; feeling small
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all
I'm on your side oh when times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

We may not always be the best of lovers
But if you leave it to me I think I can see
We'll always be the best of friends

I can't get over how she set me free
Oh lonesome me

And it weighs me down.

And you don't know how it feels, you don't know how it feels to be me...

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

And it weighs me down.

*****

And yet, I'm ok...

*****

With thanks to Lamb of God, Nazareth, Neil Young, Limp Bizkit... and so on. Read More...