Ya... but

Robin Williams
July 21, 1951 – August 11, 2014

Actor/Comedian Robin Williams took his own life yesterday.

He was but 63 years of age.

He won Emmys, Grammys and an Academy Award.

He had family, children and friends.

He also had money.

Some would say he seemingly had it 'all.'

They would be wrong.

It's been said (and ego aside - and, it IS aside), but, the more intelligent one is the less happy one is. Further... the more alone you are. Read up on it here and here.

It's sad but the vast majority of people are ignorant about mental health issues. Scary given recent 'studies' have shown that a staggering 1in4 people suffer from a mental illness.

A blog posting published today at the guardian is both insightful and disturbing.

It comes out hitting in saying "...to say taking your own life because of such an illness is a ‘selfish’ act does nothing but insult the deceased, potentially cause more harm and reveal a staggering ignorance of mental health problems."

Indeed.

One of Williams more oft used quotes is...

I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.
I can totally relate to those words.

A buddy of mine said the following...

I'm having problems with Robin Williams death, for me , it's because it makes sense. I can't say I agree with what he did, but I understand how he got there.
"...but I understand how he got there."

I do indeed.

My second 'attempt' at suicide was at the age of 6.
Yes, you read that right.

'Tried' once, and the idea of suicide is with you every single day.

Every... single... day.

Oh I'm not saying I want to kill myself every minute. But the idea is always there... in the back of one's mind.

And at the age of 51yrs I can't see that changing any time soon.

Twice in my life I'd been hit with what's referred to as a Major Depressive Disorder. Basically... clinically depressed. Namely... characterized by a pervasive and persistent low mood that is accompanied by low self-esteem and by a loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities.

Being adopted (twice) added to the sense of 'not measuring up'... of being 'inadequate.' It is (and has been) a life-long challenge of mine.

Wasn't that long ago that I was fortunate in having a close friend who just 'happened along' when I needed someone. He begged me to check myself in to a crisis unit... and that is exactly what I did. For 13 days I was an in-patient at a local hospital.

Why?

I am in constant physical pain. Not a little ache here and there. Pain at the point where you don't have the energy to get out of bed. That kind of pain. Add to the fact I hadn't been sleeping and... well.

I'm now under the care of a pain specialist, and have my CPAP back... so pain is being 'managed' (and that's really all I can expect), and... I'm sleeping. These two 'small' things have made the difference in my world. Things don't seem unbearable/hopeless any more.

If you know of someone who suffers (in silence or otherwise) reach out to them. Let them know they are not along.

If you feel as if you are at your wits end... if you feel lost, hopeless... alone... suicide is NOT the answer. It's not any answer. Make a call to a family member, a friend... a crisis line in your area... just don't think that it'll all be ok when you're dead.

It's never ok.

I'll leave you with these...

Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don't kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, "He fought so hard." And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong. ― Sally Brampton, Shoot The Damn Dog: A Memoir Of Depression

Hide in your shell cos the world is out to bleed you for a ride
What will you gain making your life a little longer?
Heaven or Hell, was the journey cold that gave your eyes of steel?
Shelter behind painting your mind and playing joker
Hide in Your Shell - Supertramp

Read More...

4:03am...

Gene Wilder Wisdom

After deciding that I was no longer going to waste my time attempting to fall asleep and pull my ass out of bed... I took a 3-block hike on Queen to the local 24/7 Convenience Store. Sam's maybe? At any rate... a walk along Queen at 04:00 always leads to some new observation. Characters abound Queen and Roncy at this hour.

I greeted each with a hearty "'morning."

And in return I got a strong "Good Morning" (on the way to the store) and a slurred Top o' the day to ya (on the way back.)

As on my way ba-ack... I saw, there in the distance... the Golden Arch's of Mickey Dee's.

How could I not? Even after having breakfaster/dinner the call of the Sausage McMuffin (no egg) (x2) and hash-browns (x2) with a medium 2x milk / 3x sugar, stirred please... was one I could not ignore.

And so in I strode (at the above time) and was greeted again with the night-life that is Queen and Roncy.

It is, after-all, the first time I've lived anywhere East of the Humber.
So almost each day there is a sense of new-ness about the area for me.
Well duh...
My Mickey Dee breakfast is just that, my preferred choice of morning intake.

I am though, generally... left alone.

More so at this hour, but, ya... it's comforting (finally) to be at peace with who I am.

I am Me... after-all.
So no, I did not bring my newest staff (perfectly balanced though it is.

Finish my 1st breakfast of the day, walk home (carry delicious coffee), get home, finish off d00b from earlier, have smoke (gaaaa) and finish delicious coffee.

Nap time?

Ya... ri-ight... Read More...

In camp.

No, not like this.

An oil sands 'camp' may be defined as (OPM) - In the last few years, some of Canada's biggest energy companies have spent tens of millions of dollars to build camps that are, by any reasonable definition, no longer camps. They are, instead, lodges - the best of which now fall somewhere between Club Med and a down-town condo - save, of course, for the industrial surroundings and petroleum-scented air.

What this means in part, is free room and board.

I have to say that so far, I am impressed.

I've my own 3pc washroom, desk and comfy chair, TV (meh) and teh 'net!
It's a queen size bed and deux pillows!!!
Laundry (free) facilities are 3 doors down from my room.
Had an awesome dinner (pasta, salad and SKIM MILK!!!)
Even got to make a lunch for tomorrow!

My walkabout allowed me to find the gym (open 24/7), cardio room and yoga studio.

Work is at 0700, and I'm up at 0415.
This allows me to get back in to my a.m. routine.

Am excited and looking forward to getting at it.
What can I say?

All in all, not too bad a setup. ;l Read More...

I am who I am, your approval is not needed.

Got it?

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On getting old...

John Lennon

There is no denying when your age begins with a 5... you are old.

And so, acutely aware there are more days behind me than ahead, I post here some ramblings and mutterings on the eve of my turning 50.

- there is family and then there is everyone else
- my son and my daughter are THE most important people in my world
- ...if only they could accept that
- gone almost three years now, I miss My Mom
- having morals and ethics does not mean others do as well
- the world is not fair
- staying true to oneself can be exhausting at times
- religion is a delusion
- people are strange, interesting but strange
- most are liars
- women say they want a man but in reality they can only deal with boys
- self deception is a killer
- I will always love a good cup of tea and a cigarette in the morning
- sleep rules
- as does bacon :l
- many confuse volume with toughness
- most are cowards
- ABBA's Dancing Queen is still a good song
- your body really is affected by age
- women are beautiful creatures
- it's a shame most women aren't comfortable with that
- confronting something without being confrontational is possible
- you can have all the money you want, all the toys... but if you're not happy, nothing matters
- hand held devices were supposed to bring us closer together, instead they have simply widened the gap
- I have loved two women in my life... that is twice more than most
- neither of them can deal with that :l
- if you have one true friend consider yourself fortunate
- they can argue all they want, but in the end... women are just as horny as men
- and are just as devious for a piece of tail
- music and the written word make the world go 'round
- some people really don't deserve to live
- there are beautiful random moments in time every single day... you just have to notice them
- bringing laughter to a child's eyes is priceless
- your woman can be a thing of beauty, but if she's not a good person...
- when a man truly loves a woman, it is forever
- other women aren't happy with that
- people define themselves through their misery and suffering
- we should celebrate our similarities instead of pointing out our differences... in the end, we are all worm food
- a woman in knee-high boots will always get my blood pumping
- our world will not improve until we rid it of money and religion
- every man should have at least one hot-towel shave with a straight razor
- it is ok to say no
- preventing a hangover is simple
- curing one is easy. Eat bacon :l
- there's nothing like rough sex in the morning, bad breath and all :l
- the only person capable of understanding oneself is... you.
- it does not matter what others say/feel about you
- it still hurts though
- a harsh truth is preferable to a comfortable lie
- homophobes are uncomfortable with their own sexuality
- Chardonnay over Red
- Wisers over Crown
- Wendys over McDonalds
- Mr Sub over Subway
- Timothys over Timmys
- Swiss Chalet sucks
- Long Live Heavy Metal
- my favourite musicians are my son and daughter
- pot will become legal as soon as gov'ts figure out how to effectively tax it
- there is one thing worse than being hurt... and that is hurting another
- I'm sorry are two of the hardest words for most
- the more intelligent you are the less happy you are
- some of the finest people I know are considered rednecks
- the Leafs... what can I say?
- ignorance is not bliss
- there is evil in this world
- hockey rules
- people are afraid of getting what they want and will do almost anything to destroy their dreams
- sleeping under the stars is awesome
- The 'Head has the best pot around :l
- I will more than likely spend the remainder of my days alone
- the above sucks
- as does smoking
- shoulda gone to the dentist more often
- most people are good people... even if they forget sometimes
- I've known some beautiful women in my day... where has it gotten me?
- once you realize you need nothing, you will have everything
- I miss You more
- the more I'm aware of the less I know
- ...

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A Day in the Life.

Finally.

Since May of this year I have waited to post the pictures and tell the story of my day aboard the Prouty Boys I.

Now that technical issues have been overcome... I offer them here.

At some point I will port the slideshow over in some fashion, until then, here is a public Facebook link to the album.

Click the image and enjoy!


Aboard the Prouty Boys I





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Fresh ink... FINALLY!

It's been near twenty years now since I'd last gotten new ink.

Why so long?

Really, I'd no idea how to complete the last one. I didn't have the answers... the knowledge of the lessons learned.

Until I met you.

It was you who helped me grow, and learn from the past.

It was then I knew how to complete the tat' that I'd left unfinished.

Thank you.

And here it is...

One to put it in, and one to remove it.

And what had I learned from it all?

Just Be.

Another tat already done, with 4 others next month. Read More...

Has it really been that long?

Guess I should say Happy New Year!
Been settling in with my life here in rural Nova Scotia.
Read More...

And now...

It's been a while as acess is currently sporadic. That will soon change but thought I'd offer quick update.

Moved in to my own place yesterday. A small 2bdrm, all new and such. Almost 6wks at the boatshop now, and have gotten my legs under me again at work. The people here are awesome, good to know you all. Still, will always have T.O. in me, and why the f00k not! Read More...

It is time...

Is outta here... Read More...

Two

Read More...

...

Not all wanderers are lost.
:) Read More...

me2

I'd posted the other day on the subject of being gifted, and what it was like (and still is) living as such. I'd thought I'd now take it a step further and speak to something near and dear to me... Emotional Intelligence and Personality.

While aware for quite a while now my Emotional Intelligence (known as EI), was higher than what is generally accepted to be 'average', this was actually the first serious test I'd undertaken. There was a book published a while back, which I'd read. Authored by Daniel Goleman, it was titled Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. It was an international bestseller first published in 1995. I seem to recall there were some quasi-serious tests available at the books end.

At ANY rate (there's that phrase again), Psychology Today has a number of (tests available on it's site. If you're up to to learning a bit about yourself (and, why wouldn't you be?), I suggest you try some out.

Part of what's posted is also taken from tests/surveys and such from other sites.
As a result, there are contradictions. An example, how can someone with a high degree of self-confidence have low self-esteem?

Ya, that's what I thought too.

However...

Emotional Intelligence

This emotional intelligence test consists of two parts; a self-report portion and an ability portion. The test assesses your capacity to recognize your own emotions and those of others; understand how best to motivate yourself; become close to others; and manage your own feelings and those of others. Emotional intelligence contributes a great deal to your potential in life. A poor emotional intelligence can hold a brilliant individual back from achieving his or her goals, while a good IQ can help someone who might otherwise struggle achieve success in life.

My score - 20 May 2011

And the results explained
"According to your self-report answers, your emotional intelligence is excellent. People who score like you do feel that they have almost no trouble understanding and dealing with their own emotions and those of others. They have an easy time overcoming difficulties in their lives and they are able to control their moods. It's easy for them to motivate themselves to overcome obstacles and reach their goals. In addition, they find social interactions to be quite easy and fulfilling, for several reasons. They are comfortable allowing themselves to get close with others, and feel comfortable being vulnerable enough to establish intimacy. They also report having an easy time offering support to others; this is likely due to an empathetic nature and a clear mind when it comes to offering good advice."

My score - 20 May 2011

And the results explained
"You scored somewhere in the middle between introversion and extroversion, which means that you draw characteristics from both ends of the spectrum. Sometimes, you need time to yourself, preferring to think things through on your own. Other times, you enjoy interacting with others. Overall, you are likely a fairly outgoing person who occasionally opts for solitude. You likely need a balance of alone time and time with others in your life because you can become a little overwhelmed if you ignore the introverted side of yourself."

My score - 04 February 200

Trait Explanations

In order to interpret your raw trait scores, they were compared to the first 350,000 people to complete the full MyPersonality Big Five questionnaire. This allows the way that you described yourself to be put in the context of how other people respond to the questionnaire. You should remember that there are no fundamentally good or bad personalities, as each trait description has potential advantages and disadvantages.

Openness

This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer novelty versus convention. Approximately 65.5% of respondents have a lower openness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is intellectually curious and appreciative of what you consider beautiful, no matter what others think. You might say that your imagination is vivid and makes you more creative than many others.

Conscientiousness

This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer an organized, or a flexible, approach in life. Approximately 84.1% of respondents have a lower conscientiousness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is a perfectionist. From your responses it appears that you prefer to plan everything to the last detail, which has consequently led to you being very successful and extremely reliable. From your responses it appears that more than most you enjoy seeing your long-term plans come to fruition.

Extroversion

This trait refers to the extent to which you enjoy company, and seek excitement and stimulation. Approximately 94.5% of respondents have a lower extroversion raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is constantly energetic, exuberant and active. Your answers describe you as someone who aims to be the centre of attention at social occasions, asserts yourself when in groups, and usually says, "Yes!"

Agreeableness

This trait refers to the way you express your opinions and manage relationships. Approximately 96.4% of respondents have a lower agreeableness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is extremely easy to get along with. Your responses suggest that you would say you are considerate, friendly, generous and helpful and you consider most other people to be thoroughly decent and trustworthy.

Neuroticism (Emotional Stability)

This trait refers to the way you cope with, and respond to, life's demands. Approximately 21% of respondents have a lower neuroticism raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is calm and emotionally stable. Based on your responses, you come across as someone who is rarely bothered by things, and when they do get you down the feeling does not persist for very long.

Research has found that the Big Five personality traits are significantly related to Jungian Typology (e.g. the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). This is a popular alternative personality framework regularly used for personal development, in which Types are used rather than Traits. Based on your Big Five trait scores, your estimated Type is shown below.

ENFJ
Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
ENFJs weave and strengthen the collective fabric of social conventions and interactions. Inclusiveness is important and they are particularly sensitive to those who are excluded. They focus on others, feeling a glow when those around them are happy, and troubled when something is amiss. They are natural cheerleaders, often expressing support, gratitude, and encouragement, and heaping praise onto those they appreciate. They take note of what is being done and what needs doing, offering their assistance wherever necessary. ENFJs enjoy organising group activities and tend to take their commitments seriously. In general, they are reliable and do not like to disappoint others. As team players and project leaders, they have a gift for rallying their players, focusing on what is being done right and each member's strengths. They are loyal and they expect loyalty. They carry conversations well, finding common ground with their speaker. They tend to find the correct and gracious way to respond in any given situation, no matter how tense or uncomfortable it is.

And because I'm born under the Astrological Sign of Aries, here is how the Big 5 pertain to my sign;

You do not have an Aries personality...

The Aries personality is described independent and idealistic which overall suggests a slightly above-average openness trait score. This is accurate for you.

The Aries personality likes to "act first, ask questions or have doubts later", which is in contrast with the thoughtful planning of someone with an above-average conscientiousness trait score, which is what you have.

The Aries personality is adventurous, impulsive, active and outgoing, which would suggest a very high extraversion trait score. You do indeed have a close to average extraversion score.

The Aries personality is on the one hand forceful and competitive, but on the other hand "surprisingly trusting", which overall still suggests a below average agreeableness trait score, however your agreeableness score is actually above-average.

It is also intemperate and "fiery", suggesting an above-average neuroticism trait score. However, your neuroticism trait score is actually below average.

Your star sign has accurately predicted 2 out of 5 traits, which means that you are hardly an Aries at all!

Not a Ram!

Self-Confidence

As someone with high self-confidence, you feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. Indeed, you find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. Your relaxed demeanor in groups makes people around you comfortable too. Perhaps because you feel comfortable talking about yourself, others tend to enjoy being around you and perceive you as socially competent.

The confidence that helps you feel comfortable talking to people also spills into your own personal beliefs about yourself. Although you have several strengths, it's likely that you also acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. But unlike some people, you take full responsibility for your actions-you rarely regret things you've done in the past and are not embarrassed easily.

Perhaps the defining feature that sets you apart from most people is the exceptionally high standards that you set for yourself. Your competence in social gatherings as well as at work should provide ample evidence for this. With these characteristics, it's very likely that people come to you for advice and generally think of you as someone with leader-like qualities.

Family Orientation

As someone who is oriented to familial matters, you value the company of family-members and domestic life. If you have children already, you enjoy spending time with them very much and work hard to be a good parent. If you don't have children, you very much desire having children in the future. And your preference for cooking and entertaining guests at home will likely ease the transition into parenthood.

You take pride in maintaining and cultivating a healthy family and work hard to achieve this. This natural tendency is easily illustrated by your preference for doing things around the house as opposed to going out to clubs and restaurants.

What really sets you apart from people that are low in family orientation is that you know how to manage your frustrations and work well on your own. This means that you are well-equipped to manage a family without letting all the work that is involved wear you down. However, as someone with strong family values, all the work that is involved in maintaining a tidy home and well-stocked kitchen might occasionally make it difficult for you to finish everything that you need to do.

Self-Control

The self-control personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs him or herself. Being low in self-control can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-control makes this likely to happen more often than not. This can be good in circumstances where being relaxed and open are important. However, in situations where it is necessary to be focused and careful, you might find that you do or say things that may be inappropriate.

As someone who exerts little control over your actions, you may find that you commit social blunders that might offend other people and get yourself in trouble. For example, if you're given responsibility to work on a project that requires close attention to detail, you may be likely to overlook important details because you have difficulty staying focused. Consequently, you might feel more comfortable delegating such tasks to other people who are more detail oriented. Being able to recognize such characteristics in yourself and having more detail-oriented people do such tasks could be an effective way to manage your own stress level.

Low self-control may diminish your effectiveness at work. Acting too relaxed can make it difficult for you to focus on projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Thus, your ability to accomplish may be inconsistent. Indeed, it's possible that you might be criticized periodically for being unreliable or unable to "stay within the lines." Nonetheless, you may still experience many short-lived pleasures and never be thought of as boring.

Openness

As someone moderate in openness, you have an appreciation for art and nature, but are also down to earth and realistic. On the one hand, it's likely that you are fond of music and art, and on the other hand, enjoy and appreciate things that have a clear point and some sort of practical utility. Additionally, you have a certain degree of awareness of your own emotions; that is, you tend to notice when you're feeling a particular way and take those feelings into account when making decisions.
You tend to think in both abstract ways-in terms of metaphors-and logically. Therefore, in your work and free time, you enjoy activities that get your "creative juices" flowing, but are also able to keep your mind on the primary objective of the task at hand.

Your tendency to be both open-minded, yet realistic is generally quite advantageous. For instance, when there are no clear rules about how to approach a particular problem, your openness makes it easy for you to identify new ways to solve problems that might not be very obvious to people that are not as open as you are. However, because you are also realistic-minded, you are able follow-rules quite easily. This combination makes it easy for you to excel in your work because you are able to "think outside the box" while still being able to keep your eyes on "the big picture."

Easygoingness

Easygoingness refers to one's ability to relax. Based on your score, you appear to "take things as they come" and enjoy having a good time. However, being high in easygoingness also has the potential to produce stress in a number of ways. For example, you may find it difficult to complete tasks thoroughly and efficiently. In this way, being high in easygoingness cannot only make your life difficult, but also the lives of the people around you. Another potential problem with being too high in easygoingness is that it can provide you with gratification in the short-term, but in the long-term provide undesirable consequences.

High easygoingness, even when not seriously destructive, may also diminish your effectiveness at work, for example. You may find it aversive and difficult to put in all the effort that may sometimes be needed to effectively accomplish certain tasks. For this reason, your colleagues might view you as forgetful and unfocused.

How does your personality affect your love life?

With your strong degree of self-confidence, it's no surprise that you get along well with most people. Indeed, it's self-confidence that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. For this reason, you shouldn't have much difficulty in romance, at least not initially. Your social skills will likely help relieve any anxiety your romantic partners might have on those first few dates. However, over time, the high standards that you have for yourself could potentially frustrate your partner.

Given how much you value family life, you probably get along best with people who share your values and beliefs. In fact, it's likely that you maintain close connections with members of your immediate and distant family. For this reason, you would probably be most satisfied in a romantic relationship with someone who also values domestic life. Being in a relationship with someone who enjoys going out to parties and staying-up late at night might be fun, at least initially; yet it's likely that you will find this tiring over time. Thus, it might be easier and more satisfying for you to develop a long-lasting relationship with a person who also enjoys spending time at home and desires starting a family. On first dates, perhaps you might suggest to your partner that the two of you spend a quiet night having dinner at one of your respective homes instead of going out to a restaurant or club.

As someone who is more relaxed than most people, you're probably attracted to most people. However, your free-spirited nature might make being in a relationship with a person that is more rigid than you difficult because you might perceive the person as being too uptight and controlling. For this reason, you may ultimately be most satisfied in a relationship with someone that is shares your level of self-control.

Your openness probably makes it easy for you to respect and appreciate people that are different from you. However, you may become frustrated with people that are too unconventional or traditional. Therefore, you may be happiest in serious relationships with people that share both your open-mindedness and realistic nature.

With an (traditional) I.Q. of 183, in the top 1/15th percentile (that's fifteenth) and an E.I. rating of 137, in the top 1 percentile, I'm sure you've got me all figure out now.

And with that...

Peace!

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Growing 'up' Gifted...

I am not weird!
Maybe a little off... well, okay... a little weird!
And proud of it!
Finally.
Was a long (and yes, at times, winding) road.

With a measured I.Q. of 183, there are but a handful who can truly appreciate how I see and experience the world.
Think about it.
183 is in the top 15th percentile... that's a 99 followed by 14 nines.

There were times I wish I could simply take a dumb down pill just to make life a little easier... just a little bit.
Ever see that House MD episode entitled Ignorance is Bliss?
Buddy is a brilliant physicist and, in order to get close to people he begins taking something to dumb himself down.
That's me, wish I could do that.
Just a little bit of peace, not feel everyone... see everyone.
Shame you don't know what I'm saying... right?

My aim in this post is to perhaps do just that.
To hopefully give you a little insight on what it's like to 'be' me.

Enjoy...

Giftedness is a greater awareness, a greater sensitivity, and a greater ability to understand and transform perceptions into intellectual and emotional experiences. - Annemarie Roeper




I came across the following paper (a compendium of articles, essays and interviews) on the subject of Gifted individuals and their associated (and unique) 'issues'. It is authored (in part) by Francis Heylighen, a research professor at the Free University of Brussels.

I sent him off an email, we'll see (and I'll advise) if he responds.
(Did not respond, though, he did say to expect this due to the volume of emails received.)

In the paper he goes on to say that he intends to prepare a more in depth paper on his interpretation of the subject and, in particular, how it relates to his field of interest of Cybernetics.

I have yet to locate said paper, but remain hopeful.

The following has been edited by me for space, with apologies to both Francis and the original authors (credited where due).

Levels of Giftedness
(Giftedness and education from the perspective of sociologic social psychology by Steven M. Nordby © 1997-2002)

According to IQ measurements, the following labels are generally accepted;

* Bright - 115 and above
* Gifted - 130 and above
* Highly gifted - 145 and above
* Exceptionally gifted -160 and above
* Profoundly gifted - 175 and above

Gifted people have a number of personality traits that set them apart, and that are not obviously connected to the traits of intelligence, IQ, or creativity that are most often used to define the category. Many of these traits have to do with their particularly intense feelings and emotions, others with their sometimes awkward social interactions. These traits make that these people are typically misunderstood and underestimated by peers, by society, and usually even by themselves. As such, most of their gifts are actually underutilized, and they rarely fulfill their full creative potential. This is particularly true for gifted women, as they don’t fit the stereotypes that society has either of women or of gifted people (typically seen as men).

Cognition

* original, unusual ideas, creativity, connects seemingly unrelated ideas
* superior abilities to reason, generalize or problem solve, high intelligence
* vivid and rich imagination
* extensive vocabulary, verbal ability, fascinated by words
* learns new things rapidly
* excellent long term memory
* grasps mathematical/scientific concepts readily, advanced comprehension, insightful
* avid reader
* complex and deep thoughts, abstract thinker
* runs mind on multiple tracks at the same time, fast thinker

Perception/emotion

* highly sensitive
* excellent/unusual sense of humour
* very perceptive, good sense of observation
* passionate, intense feelings
* sensitive to small changes in environment
* introverted
* aware of things that others are not, perceive world differently
* tolerance for ambiguity & complexity
* can see many sides, considers problems from a number of viewpoints
* childlike sense of wonder
* openness to experience
* emotional stability, serenity

Motivation/values

* perfectionistic, sets high standards for self and others
* very curious, desire to know
* very independent, autonomous, less motivated by rewards and praise
* seeker of ultimate truths, looks for patterns, meaning in life
* enjoys challenge, penchant for risk-taking
* outrage at injustice or moral breaches, good sense of justice
* wide range of interests, overwhelmed by many interests and abilities
* strong moral convictions, integrity, honesty
* high drive
* visionary, realizes visions, sense of destiny or mission
* loves ideas and ardent discussion
* sincerity
* acceptance of self and others

Activity

* great deal of energy
* long attention span, sustains concentration on topics of interest, persistent
* cannot stop thinking, work myself to exhaustion
* needs periods of contemplation, solitude
* spontaneity

Social relations

* questions rules or authority, asks embarrassing questions, non-conforming
* feels different, out of step with others, sense of alienation and loneliness
* very compassionate
* empathy: feels along with others, helps them understand themselves

(The Intellectual and Psychosocial Nature of Extreme Giftedness Philip M. Powell & Tony Haden)
The highly gifted are rare in the population. Using IQ scores as a gross index to assess this rarity, those with IQ's of 150 and above occur about 5-7 times out of 10,000 persons. The literature about them is also rare. Nevertheless, the attempt to understand the highly gifted is valuable because it can help us to help them achieve their potential. It has been reported that the higher the level of giftedness, the greater the chance of psychological and social adjustment difficulties.

Characteristics of Creative Genius

* I have always had an insatiable curiosity.
* I am able to run my mind on multiple tracks at the same time.
* I learn rapidly and retain / apply what I learn.
* I tend to be very independent.
* I tend to be less motivated than others are by rewards, bonuses, and praise.
* At times I have asked embarrassing questions or rudely pointed out truths at the wrong time.
* My preference for the complex can fool me into underestimating the simple answer.
* I like to refine and improve others' innovations.
* I feel comfortable with a wide range of emotions.
* I can see many sides to nearly any issue.
* Honesty, integrity, and ethics are important to me.
* I can help others understand themselves better.
* I am a seeker and champion of ultimate truths.
* My nervous system is easily aroused, and I am able to discern the slightest changes in my environment (aromas, shifts in light, etc.) or detect irritants (e.g. scratchy sweater label).
* I can feel along with and for others.
* I set high standards for myself and for others and am my own worst critic.
* I tend to look for consistency and security in systems, rules, and orderliness.
* I am often considered a "driven" person.
* I have maintained my childlike sense of wonder.
* I am intent on searching out universal truths.
* I am deeply disturbed by inequity, exploitation, corruption, and needless human suffering.
* I can and do work myself to exhaustion.
* Some people think I'm too serious.
* I have always been interested in social reform.
* I value and will defend diversity.
* I have a strong need to "make a difference."
* I have a penchant for risk-taking.
* I can and do ignore my own needs for the sake of others.

Torrance (1965) has argued that the gifted are independent thinkers. Dunn and Price (1980) provided evidence to show that those of average ability have a greater need for external structure than the intellectually gifted. One important difference, then, between average persons and their gifted counterparts is in the need of externally imposed structure. Gifted persons are more likely to make sense out of their intellectual experiences than the average person. Another important difference is in the desire to know complex ideas.

Average persons have less desire to know ideas for their own sake. They substitute participation in social affairs for idea dominance or the preference for thinking and generating ideas argued as characteristic of the mentally gifted (Powell, 1982). The possession of the desire to know means that gifted individuals have a need to search for the inherent pattern, logic or meaning in a set of data information, while average people prefer to have the pattern, logic, or meaning already generated and explained.

The highly gifted, on the other hand, have the greatest capacity to create structure and organize data and the greatest need to know. At this extreme, such people can create whole disciplines (De Candolle) and/or frameworks for comprehending the universe (Newton and Einstein).

Another problem for the highly gifted is they grow up with and are often socialized by significant others who do not understand them well enough to guide their ideas and actions with valid feedback. This was true of Leopold and Loeb, who were given free rein to go and do as they pleased at an early age. Parents can also vacillate between being proud of and being scared of the achievements of the highly gifted child. Parental pride in achievement can quickly turn to a fear of social stigma which can cause parents to give their gifted child inconsistent feedback. Hence, highly gifted children are never quite sure if it is good or bad to be very bright. Thus, their concept of the value of being very gifted develops slowly and ambivalently.

Peers, especially children, are often confused by the highly gifted person because it is difficult to identify with their superior cognitive abilities. They may downplay the degree of superiority of the highly gifted by invalidating feedback. If this feedback is internalized, a self-conception may be constructed based on underrating the self.

Clark (1979) reported on a young female student who had spent 18 years believing she was not intelligent because she asked more questions than the others in class. Later, in Clark's university class, when the characteristics of the gifted were discussed, the woman was so moved that she decided to say that she identified with the gifted even though she knew she was not gifted. She was so stirred by the class that later that evening she called her parents. During a conversation with them, the woman student found out that she has a measured IQ of 165. School personnel had advised her parents not to discuss her extraordinary IQ with her. This resulted in a low level of academic self-esteem and the ridiculous self-conception of being stupid!

Characteristics of Gifted Adults
(LIBERATING EVERYDAY GENIUS™ by Mary-Elaine Jacobsen, Psy.D.)

* Perfectionistic and sets high standards for self and others.
* Has strong moral convictions.
* Is highly sensitive, perceptive or insightful.
* Fascinated by words or an avid reader.
* Feels out-of-sync with others.
* Is very curious.
* Has an unusual sense of humour.
* A good problem solver.
* Has a vivid and rich imagination.
* Questions rules or authority.
* Has unusual ideas or connects seemingly unrelated ideas.
* Thrives on challenge.
* Learns new things rapidly.
* Has a good long-term memory.
* Feels overwhelmed by many interests and abilities.
* Is very compassionate.
* Feels outrage at moral breaches that the rest of the world seems to take for granted.
* Has passionate, intense feelings.
* Has a great deal of energy.
* Can't switch off thinking.
* Feels driven by creativity.
* Loves ideas and ardent discussion.
* Needs periods of contemplation.
* Searches for ???? in their life.
* Feels a sense of alienation and loneliness.
* Is very perceptive.
* Feels out of step with others.

Normal Behavior for Gifted People
(The Gifted Resource Center and Lesley Sword, Ph.D.)

It is NORMAL for Gifted People to:

* Have complex and deep thoughts.
* Feel intense emotions.
* Ask lots of questions.
* Be highly sensitive.
* Set high standards for themselves.
* Have strong moral convictions.
* Feel different & out-of-sync.
* Be curious.
* Have a vivid imagination.
* Question rules or authority.
* Thrive on challenge.
* Feel passion and compassion.
* Have a great deal of energy.
* Have an unusual sense of humour.
* Feel outrage at injustice.
* Look for meaning in life.
* Feel sad about the state of the world.
* Feel a spiritual connection to life.

Most Prevalent Characteristics of Giftedness
(The Gifted Resource Center and Lesley Sword, Ph.D)

99.4% learn rapidly
99.4% have extensive vocabulary
99.3% have excellent memory
99.3% reason well
97.9% are curious
96.1% are mature for their age at times
95.9% have an excellent sense of humor
93.8% have a keen sense of observation
93.5% have compassion for others
93.4% have a vivid imagination
93.4% have a long attention span
92.9% have ability with numbers
90.3% are concerned with justice and fairness
89.4% have facility with puzzles and legos
88.4% have a high energy level
88.3% are perfectionistic
85.9% are perseverant in their areas of interest
84.1% question authority
80.3% are avid readers

Characteristics of the gifted student

* Shows superior abilities to reason, generalize or problem solve.
* Shows persistent intellectual curiosity.
* Has a wide range of interests; develops one or more interests to considerable depth.
* Produces superior written work or has a large vocabulary.
* Reads avidly.
* Learns quickly and retains what is learned.
* Grasps mathematical or scientific concepts readily.
* Shows creative ability or imaginative expression in the arts.
* Sustains concentration for lengthy periods on topics or activities of interest.
* Sets high standards for self.
* Shows initiative, originality, or flexibility in thinking; considers problems from a number of viewpoints.
* Observes keenly and is responsive to new ideas.
* Shows social poise or an ability to communicate with adults in a mature way.
* Enjoys intellectual challenge; shows an alert and subtle sense of humor.

These characteristics can lead to conflicts in the regular classroom, as the gifted child may;

* Get bored with routine tasks.
* Resist changing away from interesting topics or activities.
* Be overly critical of self and others, impatient with failure, perfectionistic.
* Disagree vocally with others, argue with teachers.
* Make jokes or puns at times adults consider inappropriate.
* Be so emotionally sensitive and empathetic that adults consider it over-reaction, may get angry, or cry when things go wrong or seem unfair.
* Ignore details, turn in messy work.
* Reject authority, be non-conforming, stubborn.
* Dominate or withdraw in cooperative learning situations.
* Be highly sensitive to environmental stimuli such as lights or noises.

These reactions of gifted students to the regular education environment are normal only within the context of an understanding of the gifted. Without that understanding, they may be used to label the student as ADD/ADHD or SED. (See below)

Overexcitabilities - A term originated by Kazimierz Dabrowski to describe excessive response to stimuli in five psychic domains (psychomotor, sensual, intellectual, imaginational, and emotional) which may occur singly or in combination. Overexcitabilities are often used to describe certain characteristics of the gifted. “It is often recognized that gifted and talented people are energetic, enthusiastic, intensely absorbed in their pursuits, endowed with vivid imagination, sensuality, moral sensitivity and emotional vulnerability. . . . [They are] experiencing in a higher key.” - Michael Piechowski. Extreme overexcitabilities or a strong imbalance between them may reduce the individual's ability to function in society.

Random thoughts, quotes and links

Terman and Oden, (1959) found that the four traits which distinguished the gifted from the control group of normal or average children most clearly were:

* General intelligence
* Desire to know
* Originality
* Common sense

On Giftedness, an interview with Mary Rocamora
Giftedness these days in the research community is being understood more as an inner experience or process than external products like symphonies and films and dance companies and things of that order.

And the research community is far more interested now in studying the nature of that inner process, and expanding the scope of it to go beyond just high intelligence, which we know is a component of giftedness, to include other qualities like sensitivity, perfectionism; a quality called entelechy, which is associated with being a visionary, having a personal vision, and being able to actualize that vision from within - rather than needing other people externally to realize it.

Qualities like introversion are also common among gifted people, and another quality called the autonomous factor - which means that if you're gifted, you're not interested in whether other people see the value of what you're doing, and you don't relate your work so much to other people's opinion, but more to how that vision seems to you, how important it seems to you.
There's also idealism with a lot of gifted people, where there's a sense of disparity between what we are and what we could be, and that disparity becomes the fuel for an inner self-becoming toward perfection.

People might be scared or intimidated of gifted people because of our societal stereotypes that the gifted are somehow above everyone, and that's not the case. A gifted person is not a morally superior human being, necessarily.

Also people may fear others will think they're stuck up if they think of themselves as gifted - and there's the stereotype, right there. And that's one of the real struggles of embracing one's own giftedness is that we have these ideas in this culture that gifted people are arrogant, gifted people are snooty, that they think they're better than others. And that's typically not the case; they're more likely to feel inadequate to others, because of their own high standards.

I've never seen giftedness expire. I've seen it get worse - that the sensitivity deepens, the perfectionism gets more intense, the excitability factor - all this energy will erupt, just makes more of itself.

All of these things refer to people who are self-aware; for people who don't have the awareness, they could easily just die on the vine. And this often happens to gifted girls: because of cultural conditioning it's known that gifted girls lose one IQ point per year growing up in the school system. They don't get the mirroring and they don't get the mentoring - and they're 'just girls'.

Misdiagnosis of the Gifted
(Lynne Azpeitia, M.A. and Mary Rocamora, M.A.)

Gifted individuals face many challenges. One of them may be in getting correctly identified by psychotherapists and others as gifted.
It's well known among researchers of the gifted, talented and creative that these individuals exhibit greater intensity and increased levels of emotional, imagination-al, intellectual, sensual and psycho-motor excitability and that this is a normal pattern of development. It is because these gifted children and adults have a finely tuned psychological structure and an organized awareness that they experience all of life differently and more Intensely than those around them.

These characteristics, however, are frequently perceived by psychotherapists and others as evidence of a mental disturbance because most of the population lacks accurate information about the special characteristics of gifted individuals, couples and families. Most people don't know that what is considered normal for the gifted is most often labelled as neurosis in the general population and as a result, the gifted are personally and emotionally vulnerable to a variety of unique relationship difficulties at home, work, school and in the community.

Since the gifted function with relatively high levels of intensity and sensitivity, when they seek therapy they are frequently misdiagnosed because therapists receive no specialized training in the identification and treatment of persons who have advanced and complex patterns of development.

Therapeutic assessment of gifted persons with asynchronous development, heightened levels of awareness, energy and emotional response, and an intense level of inner turmoil often results in their developmental transition being mislabelled as a personality or attentional disorder.

Histrionic, dysthymic, cyclothymic, borderline, narcissistic, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) or ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) are a few of the diagnostic labels mistakenly used to describe normative stages of positive disintegration.

The results of this type of misdiagnosis can range from benign neglect to misguided counselling strategies that invalidate and attempt to 'normalize' the complex inner process of the gifted. When misdiagnosed gifted clients are prescribed medication to suppress the "symptoms of giftedness" there is the danger that the wonderful inner fury of the gifted process will be neutralized, thus minimizing the potential for a life of accomplishment and fulfilment. As a result, those who have the most to offer society are the least likely to get their therapeutic needs met.

For the gifted, inner conflict is a developmental rather than a degenerative sign, because it drives the gifted person forward to replace current ways of thinking and being with those of higher level development. This type of positive disintegration is characterized by an intensified inner tension between what one is and what one could be. This dynamic tension is what fuels the creative person's complex inner life and provides the impetus for growth and development. Any therapist who works with a gifted population must be familiar with these internal processes, which are utilized to develop advanced potential - otherwise, the therapist risks inflicting further psychological damage.

When working with the gifted, a therapist must address the following intrapersonal issues: the internal stress of being gifted; the emotional trauma of rapid development; the effects of introversion, intensity, perfectionism and extraordinary sensitivity on self and others; the recognition of the symptoms of insufficient mental engagement; the importance of interacting with other gifted persons, and channeling and focusing an abundance of physical, sensual, intellectual and emotional energy.

Unique interpersonal challenges that gifted individuals, couples and families encounter during their life span include learning to interact in the mainstream world; manage expectations and pressures to fit the norm; defuse unconscious hostility, resentment, antagonism and sabotage directed at them because they are perceived as intellectually, creatively or personally advantaged; set appropriate boundaries for the utilization of their abilities; collaborate with others, and manage the daily dilemmas of giftedness involving relatives, bosses, co-workers, neighbors, counselors, teachers and other members of the community.

Traits of highly creative people
(Am Psychol [2000] by Prof. Ellen Winner, Boston College and Project Zero, Harvard Graduate School of Education)
sensitive, not motivated by money, sense of destiny, adaptable, tolerant of ambiguity, observant, perceive world differently, see possibilities, question asker, can synthesize correctly, often intuitively, able to fantasize, flexible, fluent, imaginative, intuitive, original, ingenious, energetic, sense of humor, self-actualizing, self-disciplined, self-knowledgeable, specific interests, divergent thinker, curious, open-ended, independent, severely critical, non-conforming, confident, risk taker, persistent

And now, ask yourself the following:

Are you a good problem solver?
Can you concentrate for long periods of time?
Are you perfectionistic?
Do you persevere with your interests?
Are you an avid reader?
Do you have a vivid imagination?
Do you enjoy doing jigsaw puzzles?
Often connect seemingly unrelated ideas?
Do you enjoy paradoxes?
Do you set high standards for yourself?
Do you have a good long-term memory?
Are you deeply compassionate?
Do you have persistent curiosity?
Do you have an excellent sense of humor?
Are you a keen observer?
Do you have a love of mathematics?
Do you need periods of contemplation?
Do you search for meaning in your life?
Are you aware of things that others are not?
Are you fascinated by words?
Are you highly sensitive?
Do you have strong moral convictions?
Do you often feel out-of-sync with others?
Are you perceptive or insightful?
Do you often question rules or authority?
Do you have organized collections?
Do you thrive on challenge?
Do you have extraordinary abilities and deficits?
Do you learn new things rapidly?
Feel overwhelmed by many interests/abilities?
Do you have a great deal of energy?
Often take a stand against injustice?
Do you feel driven by your creativity?
Love ideas and ardent discussion?
Were you advanced developmentally in childhood?
Have unusual ideas or perceptions?
Are you a complex person?

If 75% of these characteristics fit you, you are probably a gifted adult!

In closing, get help from those you trust. Don't try going it alone, as I was forced to.
There must be a better way!
YOU ARE NOT WEIRD AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

So, next time you feel as if someone is looking right through you, don't panic, it's probably just me.

Be well! Read More...