Plus One

At 01:32hrs on Friday the 20th of March (the first day of spring, and... the date of our last solar eclipse) Ali (herself having turned 23 the day before) and her partner Stirling welcomed their first born... a Son. Weighing in at a healthy 8lbs 14oz this little man has changed their world forever.

As a first time GrandFather I have to say that you, have changed mine as well.

Hello and welcome to our newest family member... Caelum Tristan Greensides.

Caelum

 

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A new little Donovan is on the way...

Now that I am 'allowed' to post this, here it is.
I am so proud to announce that my 'little angel' Alicia and her man Stirling are having a baby!!!

OMG!!!
That would make me... a GRANDFATHER!
OMG!!!
:)

Ali is now 8wks pregnant.
Both soon-to-be parents are ecstatic and are doing well.

Expected date is 11 March 2015... a mere 8 days before Ali's birthday!

Congrats to both!

Love Dad xx

Ali and Stirling

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The finer sex

Alicia being real...

Today the world over celebrates International Women's Day 2014. ... I say the world over but that's really not the case, is it?

On this day women will not only enjoy time with their family's, their lovers... or enjoy a good book, they will also suffer, be raped, killed and brutalized.

I lost my Mom in 2010... I miss her every day.

The picture to the right is of my (soon to be) 22yr old daughter, Alicia Maree. Course, she has a little of me in her... her humour is evident. I asked for a pic of her for this post... else I'd post a duck-face one.

She sent me this.

I think it fitting.

The following is taken from the Wikipedia article.

"International Women's Day, also called International Working Women's Day, is marked on March 8 every year. In different regions the focus of the celebrations ranges from general celebration of respect, appreciation and love towards women to a celebration for women's economic, political, and social achievements. Started as a Socialist political event, the holiday blended in the culture of many countries, primarily in Europe, including Russia. In some regions, the day lost its political flavour, and became simply an occasion for men to express their love for women in a way somewhat similar to a mixture of Mother's Day and Valentine's Day. In other regions, however, the political and human rights theme designated by the United Nations runs strong, and political and social awareness of the struggles of women worldwide are brought out and examined in a hopeful manner. This is a day which some people celebrate by wearing purple ribbons."
Some sobering statistics
* 1.3 women (ages 18 and over) in the United States are forcibly raped each minute. That translates to 78 per hour, 1,871 per day, or 683,000 per year. * 60% of the women who reported being raped were under 18 years old * 29% were less than 11 years old * 32% were between 11 and 17 * 22% were between 18 and 24 * 7% were between 25 and 29 * 6% were older than 29

Number of U.S. troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq: 6,614:

Number of women, in the same period, killed as the result of domestic violence in the US: 11,766

Number of people per minute who experience intimate partner violence in the U.S.: 24

Number of workplace violence incidents in the U.S. annually that are the result of current or past intimate partner assaults: 18,700

Number of women in the U.S. who report intimate partner violence: 1 in 4

Number of men in the U.S. who report intimate partner violence: 1 in 7*

Number of women who will experience partner violence worldwide: 1 in 3

Order of causes of death for European women ages 16-44: domestic violence, cancer, traffic accidents

Increase in likelihood that a woman will die a violent death if a gun in present in the home: 270 percent

Number of women killed by spouses who were shot by guns kept by men in the home in France and South Africa: 1 in 3

Percentage of the 900 million small arms that are kept in the home, worldwide: 75

Country in which 943 women were killed in honor killings in 2011: Pakistan

City in which man "butchered" his wife in front of their six children in 2012: Berlin

States in which man decapitated his wife with a chainsaw in 2010 and another man did the same, respectively: Texas and New York

Percentages of people killed in the U.S. by an intimate partner: 30 percent of women, 5.3 percent of men.

Number of gay and bisexual men who experience domestic violence in the U.S.: 2 in 5 (similar to heterosexual women)

Percentage of the 31 Senate votes cast against the Violence Against Women Act that came from older, white, male Republicans: 95.8

Percentage of the 31 Senate votes cast against the Violence Against Women Act that came from a younger, male Republicans, at least one of whom sits on the Science Committee but is unable to say how old the Earth is: 4.2

Number of legal, medical, professional, faith-based and advocacy groups that signed a letter protesting the stripped-down VAWA: 300

First year that the Republican-led House of Representatives eroded VAWA of provisions designed to increase protections for Native Americans, immigrant women, members of the LGTBQ community and, yes, men: 2012

Estimated number of children, worldwide, exposed to domestic violence everyday: 10,000,000

Worldwide, likelihood that a man who grew up in a household with domestic violence grows up to be an abuser: 3 to 4 times more likely than if he hadn't.

Chance that a girl of high school age in the U.S. experiences violence in a dating relationship: 1 in 3

Percentage of teen rape and abuse victims who report their assailant as an intimate: 76

Percentage of U.S. cities citing domestic abuse as the primary cause of homelessness: 50

Percentage of homeless women reporting domestic abuse: 63

Percentage of homeless women with children reporting domestic abuse: 92

Percentage of women with disabilities who report violence: 40

Annual cost of domestic violence in the U.S. related to health care: $5.8 billion

Annual cost of domestic violence in the U.S. related to emergency care plus legal costs, police work, lost productivity: 37 billion dollars

Annual number of jobs lost in the U.S. as a result of intimate partner violence: 32,000

Percentage change between 1980 and 2008 of women and men killed by intimate partners in the U.S.: (w) 43 percent to 45 percent; (m) 10 percent to 5 percent

Average cost of emergency care for domestic abuse related incidents for women and men according to the CDC: $948.00 for women, $387 for men

Increase in portrayals of violence against girls and women on network TV during a five year period ending in 2009: 120 percent

The number one cause of death for African American women ages 15-34 according to the American Bar Association: homicide at the hands of a partner

Chance that a lesbian** in the U.S. will experience domestic (not necessarily intimate partner) violence: 50 percent

Chances that a gay man experiences domestic violence: 2 out of 5*

Ratio of women shot and killed by a husband or intimate partner compared to the total number of murders of men by strangers using any time of weapon, from 2002 homicide figures: 3X

Number of people who will be stalked in their lifetimes: 1 in 45 men and 1 in 12 women (broken out: 17 percent of American Indian and Alaska Native women; 8.2 percent of white women, 6.5 pecent of African American women, and 4.5 percent of Asian/Pacific Islander women)

Percentage of stalkers identified as known to victims: 90.3

Percentage of abused women in the U.S. who report being strangled by a spouse in the past year: 33 to 47.3 (this abuse often leaves no physical signs)

According to one study, percentage of domestic abuse victims who are tried to leave after less severe violent and nonviolent instances of abuse: 66 versus less than 25

Average number of times an abuser hits his spouse before she makes a police report: 35

No. 1 and No. 2 causes of women's deaths during pregnancy in the U.S.: Domestic homicide and suicide, often tied to abuse

Number of women killed by spouses who were shot by guns kept by men in the home in the United States: 2 in 3

Percentage of rape and sexual assault victims under the age of 18 who are raped by a family member: 34

Number of women killed everyday in the U.S. by a spouse: 3+

The primary reason cited by right-wing conservatives for objecting to the Violence Against Women Act: To protect the family.

Percentage reduction in reports of violence after men and women in South Africa went through an educational training program on health, domestic violence and gender norms: 55

Number of members of Congress who have gone through an educational training program on health, economics, violence, and gender norms: 0

And those are just statistics from the U.S.
I can't imagine the numbers for the entire world.
It's clear we have a lot of work to do.
Do your part!
Start on this very day... celebrating the finer sex.

Greg Read More...

In camp.

No, not like this.

An oil sands 'camp' may be defined as (OPM) - In the last few years, some of Canada's biggest energy companies have spent tens of millions of dollars to build camps that are, by any reasonable definition, no longer camps. They are, instead, lodges - the best of which now fall somewhere between Club Med and a down-town condo - save, of course, for the industrial surroundings and petroleum-scented air.

What this means in part, is free room and board.

I have to say that so far, I am impressed.

I've my own 3pc washroom, desk and comfy chair, TV (meh) and teh 'net!
It's a queen size bed and deux pillows!!!
Laundry (free) facilities are 3 doors down from my room.
Had an awesome dinner (pasta, salad and SKIM MILK!!!)
Even got to make a lunch for tomorrow!

My walkabout allowed me to find the gym (open 24/7), cardio room and yoga studio.

Work is at 0700, and I'm up at 0415.
This allows me to get back in to my a.m. routine.

Am excited and looking forward to getting at it.
What can I say?

All in all, not too bad a setup. ;l Read More...

And on that day...

Ali and I, April 2013

On my way West... I happened to run in to a princess.

Ya ya, you may be a woman now, but you'll always be a princess to me.

Dad xx Read More...

24 and there's so much more...

Brad and I in the pot yard

24 years ago today my world changed.

You see, as an adoptee I had never known anyone who was of my blood.
Until you were born.
My Son.

And neither of us have looked back.

I'd originally written a post wherein I lay out fatherly advice in the hopes you would understand where you are at.
Of course, who am I to tell you where you're at.
You know this already.

Instead, I will simply say that You are loved.
No matter what you say, no matter what you do... how you feel.
Deny it all you want, there is nothing you can do to change that.
You are My Son and You are loved.

There's a day that neither of us could ever forget.
You said to me that I was the nicest person you knew.
It brought tears to my eyes that day.
The thought of that day still does Son.

As for me... I'm still that person.
Perhaps more so.

On this, the anniversary of the day of your birth... I just want to wish you well in all that you do.
You may think otherwise, but, I do have faith that you will 'figure it all out.'

Perhaps you already have.
You just have to accept it.
As I have accepted you.

Oh you've given your best to deny it.
Thrown it in my face.
In the end, you cannot fool yourself.
You know exactly where you're at and what needs doing.
Of that I have no doubt.

I know I disappoint you.
You're not the first, believe me.
I am who I am and your approval is not needed.
I make my own path, just as you do.
No matter what anyone says/does.
For that... I am proud of you.
The absolute willingness to be who you are despite all odds.

Nothing can change who we are except ourselves.

Why would you want to?

One day you will understand and accept yourself.
And when you do... you will come (again) to accept Me as Your Father.

I've told you, I won't always give you what you want... but I WILL always give you what you need.
Even if you hate me for it.

Remember though... it is in the journey that we learn, that we grow... that we accept.

I wonder if you know how profound an affect you've had on my life Brad.
Not just because you are my Son, but because of who you are as a person.

I am heading out west in three days time.
I don't know when next we will meet.
But we will see each other again.
Know this.

And I cannot wait for that day My Son.

When the time comes... when you have accepted who you are, when you have accepted the journey that you are on, I will be there. As I always have. Every time you close your eyes... every time you look in the mirror... every smile, every tear... I am there with you. Always.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Birthday My Son.
Enjoy your day.

Until we meet again...


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On getting old...

John Lennon

There is no denying when your age begins with a 5... you are old.

And so, acutely aware there are more days behind me than ahead, I post here some ramblings and mutterings on the eve of my turning 50.

- there is family and then there is everyone else
- my son and my daughter are THE most important people in my world
- ...if only they could accept that
- gone almost three years now, I miss My Mom
- having morals and ethics does not mean others do as well
- the world is not fair
- staying true to oneself can be exhausting at times
- religion is a delusion
- people are strange, interesting but strange
- most are liars
- women say they want a man but in reality they can only deal with boys
- self deception is a killer
- I will always love a good cup of tea and a cigarette in the morning
- sleep rules
- as does bacon :l
- many confuse volume with toughness
- most are cowards
- ABBA's Dancing Queen is still a good song
- your body really is affected by age
- women are beautiful creatures
- it's a shame most women aren't comfortable with that
- confronting something without being confrontational is possible
- you can have all the money you want, all the toys... but if you're not happy, nothing matters
- hand held devices were supposed to bring us closer together, instead they have simply widened the gap
- I have loved two women in my life... that is twice more than most
- neither of them can deal with that :l
- if you have one true friend consider yourself fortunate
- they can argue all they want, but in the end... women are just as horny as men
- and are just as devious for a piece of tail
- music and the written word make the world go 'round
- some people really don't deserve to live
- there are beautiful random moments in time every single day... you just have to notice them
- bringing laughter to a child's eyes is priceless
- your woman can be a thing of beauty, but if she's not a good person...
- when a man truly loves a woman, it is forever
- other women aren't happy with that
- people define themselves through their misery and suffering
- we should celebrate our similarities instead of pointing out our differences... in the end, we are all worm food
- a woman in knee-high boots will always get my blood pumping
- our world will not improve until we rid it of money and religion
- every man should have at least one hot-towel shave with a straight razor
- it is ok to say no
- preventing a hangover is simple
- curing one is easy. Eat bacon :l
- there's nothing like rough sex in the morning, bad breath and all :l
- the only person capable of understanding oneself is... you.
- it does not matter what others say/feel about you
- it still hurts though
- a harsh truth is preferable to a comfortable lie
- homophobes are uncomfortable with their own sexuality
- Chardonnay over Red
- Wisers over Crown
- Wendys over McDonalds
- Mr Sub over Subway
- Timothys over Timmys
- Swiss Chalet sucks
- Long Live Heavy Metal
- my favourite musicians are my son and daughter
- pot will become legal as soon as gov'ts figure out how to effectively tax it
- there is one thing worse than being hurt... and that is hurting another
- I'm sorry are two of the hardest words for most
- the more intelligent you are the less happy you are
- some of the finest people I know are considered rednecks
- the Leafs... what can I say?
- ignorance is not bliss
- there is evil in this world
- hockey rules
- people are afraid of getting what they want and will do almost anything to destroy their dreams
- sleeping under the stars is awesome
- The 'Head has the best pot around :l
- I will more than likely spend the remainder of my days alone
- the above sucks
- as does smoking
- shoulda gone to the dentist more often
- most people are good people... even if they forget sometimes
- I've known some beautiful women in my day... where has it gotten me?
- once you realize you need nothing, you will have everything
- I miss You more
- the more I'm aware of the less I know
- ...

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Once a Princess...

I had first composed a long(ish) and (somewhat) rambling expose on the life and times of your Father.
In the hopes that maybe, you... will come to understand Me a little.

I decided though that now is not the time.

Instead I will say;

I let You down.
I disappointed You.
And really that's why you're upset.
You're hurt.
And I was the one that hurt You.
And I hurt because of this.
But it's now become what WE do about it.
There is a difference between being disappointed in someones actions/decisions and being disappointed in someone as a person
This doesn't mean I'm a bad person.
It just means Your Father is human.
I know that one day You WILL be ready to understand this.
To accept this...
I am sorry.
I Love You My Princess.
Happy 21st Birthday.
A day that I too could never forget.
Dad xx Read More...

Argh Billy!

After missing out in December because of foul weather, I finally joined Brad out on the salt. Story and pics to follow.

Had an absolute blast, thanks guys! Read More...

This one...

This one is all for you 'dad'.
I cannot even shed a tear for you. Read More...

WTF???

The Toronto Star is reporting that a Toronto couple have decided to raise their 3rd child gender-neutral.

“We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...).”

Er... excuse me, but, it may not be important to you what's between the legs, and you can choose to ignore it (them?) all you want, but, in the end, nature has already made the decision for you.

ARE YOU ON DRUGS?

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

The mother responds. Read More...

Fathers...

The following is an excerpt from Man Enough: Fathers, Sons, and the Search for Masculinity (Putnam). I 'found' it in Psychology Today, circa 1993. My son was 4 and my daughter but one. At that time I'd made the decision to be a major part of my their lives. Saying it and doing it, well, it's not as simple as that. As they age (and grow... hopefully), it is a parent's 'job' to grow with them. And I wanted it as much as they did.

This article played a role in that decision.

Perhaps it can hold some meaning for you as well.

It was written by Frank Smith Pittman, III,M.D., An American psychiatrist and author.

Fathers & Sons

We know that raising children is the central experience of life, the greatest source of self-awareness, the true fountain of pride and joy, the most eternal bond with a partner. We know that being a father is life's fullest expression of masculinity. So why did so many men forgo this for so long, and will the current crop of post-patriarchal fathers fare any better?

FOR A COUPLE OF hundred years now, each generation of fathers has passed on less and less to his sons--not just less power but less wisdom. And less love. We finally reached a point where many fathers were largely irrelevant in the lives of their sons. The baby was thrown out with the bathwater, and the pater dismissed with the patriarchy. Everyone seemed to be floundering around not knowing what to do with men or with their problematic and disoriented masculinity.

In addition, over the same 200 years, each generation of fathers has had less authority than the last. The concept of fatherhood changed drastically after the Industrial Revolution. Economics suddenly dictated that somebody had to go out from the home to work. Men were usually chosen, since they couldn't produce milk. Maybe they would come home at night or just on weekends.

Please read the entire article at... (links to original article)

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Happy Mother's Day.

This is the first Mother's Day I've not had Mum around for. I think of you every day Mom! Here's wishing all Mother's have a great day filled with peace and family. As well, I want to wish someone a Happy Birthday in addition to a Happy Mother's Day... I just can't tell you. And, to you Arn... the Mother of my children, Happy Mother's Day to you. Read More...

Happy Birthday Son!

Today I celebrate the birth of my eldest... my Son.
Today Brad is 22ys old.
...
...
OMG!
Know what that means?
It means... I've a TWENTY-TWO year old son!
And I'm not yet 50!

;l

Brad, you have been there with me through-out those years just as much as I have you.

Happy Birthday Brad!

Love, your Dad xx Read More...

Life always finds a way...

No matter where you are and/or what you're doing life will always find a way to remind you of that which is most important to you.

My soon-to-be 22yr old son has survived a spin/roll-over in the wilds of Nova Scotia. Though he is roughed up and in severe pain... he's no broken bones and came out of it relatively unscathed.

No seat-belt, air bags didnt' deploy. Enough of trying to prove you have your Father's will to live in ya, ok my son?

Your Dad loves you, and is thankful you're still around... xo Read More...